Making Out Can Get You Pregnant

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making outWhen I read that former Saturday Night Live star Victoria Jackson was using her right wing Tea Party-supporting blog to tell the world that making out gets you pregnant, I had the reaction you probably had to the headline above. Sputter. Sputter. Um, what? Is this the next "let's put our kids in bubbles" scare tactic?

With her declaration "conservatives are proud if their children are virgins on their honeymoon. Liberals are proud if their children wear condoms in the eighth grade. Why would I want to be a liberal?" she is awfully easy to dismiss as just trying to shock. But I'm a mother. My kid has been getting a few too many kisses on the cheek at kindergarten. I had to read this. I've got to say, she's spectacularly wrong. And she's absolutely right. Jackson sat down to talk to her teen daughter about it, and the way she sees it, kids don't have romance anymore. They have sex.

My teenager then proceeded to tell me a long, sad story that involved the absolute absence of romance in the life of the modern-day teenager. My heart breaks for her generation. She said, "It's not a special, secret thing anymore ... it's a joke ... and it's not 'sex' or 'making love' ... it's 'smush, smash, bang, tap, hit ...'"

I'm younger than Jackson and I'm not from quite as strict a home as she describes (we listened to the radio, and I was allowed to watch movies rated higher than G by the time I was 9 or 10 ... we were quite the sinful crew). But growing up in a home without a television, in the day and age before Miley and Britney both, I wasn't exposed to quite the level of sexual innuendo in today's media.

And we didn't have a heck of a lot of romance either. This wasn't Bye, Bye Birdie, and getting pinned had a much naughtier connotation. Classmates lost their virginity at 15, 16. We lived in a small town in upstate New York with long cold winters and no public transportation. So you went to hang out at someone's house, started making out, and eventually got tired of it. There was nothing else to do, so sex eventually happened (although I should be clear, as my mother is reading this, that I did wait around for the guy I would marry -- this didn't happen with every guy). 

And if your parents were like typical small town folks, they were both out working, leaving you two to your own devices. There's a reason every graduating class from as far back as I can remember in my small town has had at least one pregnant girl (or newly delivered baby in the audience).

Jackson is wrong. It isn't a lack of romance that gets kids pregnant. It isn't making out that gets you pregnant. It's boredom. And busy parents.

But she's also absolutely right. Making out does not get your pregnant in the "sperm meets egg" sense. If your kids are making out, it doesn't even mean you need to start dialing up the "Oh my God, I don't want to be a grandma" hotline anytime soon. But it can only last so long. It's like taking one bite of chocolate cake. And then another. And then another. How long before you have the whole thing gone and you have to move on to the apple pie?

The good news is this can be applied to the grownups too. If you're tired of all that "try to make a baby sex" after months of trying, maybe it's time to go back to making out for awhile. It will only leave you wanting more ...

 

Image via jonrawlinson/Flickr

trying to conceive, the pregnant life

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juneb... junebaby11

i think its hilarious but im sorry the more you sheild your kids these the days the more they rebel, example A preachers kids, mmm they are the ones once they get a chance out they will go to extreme. I was nowhere perfect when i was 14 or 15 my mom said no dating til your 18 haha, well that didnt work, if you tell your kids you cant see so and so cause they are  bad, its not gunna work they will go behind your back its called being human, you can tell them why you dont want them to have sex before marriage but over protecting doesnt always work but this is just my opinion anyways.

squish squish

Wonderfully written article. So sad, so true.

nonmember avatar Sav

I'm a teen and personally, I don't care at all for romance. I think it's dumb. You shouldn't assume that love without romance is nothing at all. My boyfriend and I have been together for 15 months and we have a deeper connection than many others our age, as well as an active sex life. We are careful and mature enough to handle it, something the majority of my peers are lacking in. Personally, I couldn't care less if my parents see me as "their baby". I can make my own decisions, and having sex is just one of them. It's not scary and it's not out of boredom. It's out of wanting a deeper relationship than what you have with most people. It is special.

Histo... HistoryMamaX3

Actually- Ms. Sager, her assumption is right. Studies have shown that teens do NOT have romances and rather more and more have casual sex. And while you tried in your usual manner to prove her wrong- all you did was prove how right she was! You are trying too hard to dismiss her words because her political/religious affiliations are different than yours- but in the end, it all boils down to the same thing. Sad, really... that we have to try so hard to hate the other side that we can't even agree when we so clearly do.


 

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