"Failure." That's the word Lisa Ling uses to describe how she felt after suffering a miscarriage earlier this year. She taped an appearance for The View this week (scheduled to air Friday) to talk about her experience and what she's doing to help other women who may feel the same way.
She was about nine weeks pregnant when the doctors failed to find a heartbeat, and she said she “felt more like a failure than I’d felt in a very long time.”
While failure is a common feeling among women who experience miscarriage, it's one they shouldn't ever have to face. Sadness, rage, sorrow, despair, absolutely, but in most cases of miscarriage, there's no blame to be had, and it's too bad we place it on ourselves.
For too long, miscarriage has carried a stigma. People avoid talking about it. People are hesitant to even announce a pregnancy until they're at a "safe" place just in case of a miscarriage that they'd then have to reveal.
But the only way to begin removing the stigma is to talk about it, and lately it seems there has been an increasing number of celebrities willing to open up about their own miscarriages.
Lily Allen last month suffered her second miscarriage. While she understandably has remained fairly quiet since then, she didn't try to keep it a secret either. Earlier this week she made one of her first appearances at a dinner party, looking lovely.
Giuliana and Bill Rancic have been very open about their infertility struggles and heartbreaking miscarriage. They're committed to helping remove the stigma.
"Hopefully (we) can help people understand that there's nothing to be ashamed of. It's such a taboo subject, but it's a very common problem," they told People.
Last month, Cher opened up about suffering four miscarriages in her life. Barbara Bush recently talked about her miscarriage. Mariah Carey revealed that she lost a pregnancy shortly after marrying Nick Cannon.
While their lives may be different than those many of us lead, many of the feelings a woman experiences after a miscarriage are universal. Knowing someone else has gone through what you're going through and has made it through is one of the only sources of comfort at such a difficult time.
That's the way it was for me at least. I suffered two miscarriages, and they were two of the most devastating experiences of my life. I didn't want to talk about them. I wanted to pretend they never happened, but I couldn't because they haunted me and taunted me and made me sadder than anything ever had. Sometimes they still do when I think back.
But when I was ready and I did start talking to people and finding other women who had suffered miscarriages as well, that's when I started to find some healing.
And that's what I hope these celebrity stories do for other women out there who may be hurting right now, feeling so alone -- that they see Ling's words and know that she's not a failure and come to accept that they're not either.
Do you think celebs sharing their stories will help remove some of the stigma around miscarriage?
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