The search for the perfect family holiday card took a turn for the bizarre this year. I was poking around for just the right background for a photo of my daughter when I came across photo cards for pregnant women to share their new baby with their family, friends, and husband's second cousin's boos. Wait, I said she was pregnant, so I bet you're thinking: what new baby?
Introducing the creepiest holiday creation ever: the sonogram Christmas card! Here's hoping I don't get one of these this year -- or any other year.
Don't get me wrong, the sonogram photo of my daughter stayed on my fridge for years. She's 5, and just this year I finally realized I should take it down and stow it safely in her baby book. It was very special -- to me. But I had a personal connection to that blurry black blob, and a technician had very kindly explained to my husband and me exactly what the heck we were looking at.
Unfortunately, every other sonogram out there looks the same to me. I can't tell if they're a baby or a colon. No, really, I found my friend's mom's colon sonogram in the backseat of her car on a trip to a Dave Matthews concert, and we spent forever trying to figure out who was pregnant until we finally read the description on the other side of the fold. They all look alike when you don't know what you're looking at -- so imagine receiving this in the mail. "Oh, look, the Smiths are expecting a, what is that, an armadillo?"
Not to mention, they're all sort of, well, ghostly looking. The average ultrasound is gray on black, and the new 4D ones are worse. You have shadowy figures, not cute, cuddly babies. Now you expect me to hang that on my living room arch right below the photo of my daughter's best friend and his brothers? Our holiday guests will stand there surveying the whole line going cute ... cute ... cute ... OMG, there's something haunted in this one!
You will think your sonogram picture is the bee's knees, and good for you. Have the ornament made. Scan it onto your computer and post it on your mother-in-law's Facebook wall. Just don't expect me to put it on my fridge. I'm saving that spot for your birth announcement.
Image via Jim Moore/Flickr