Stop Asking Me If I've Had My Baby Yet!

Amy Kuras

Thanksgiving is a time of such beautiful memories ... family, food ... and for me, almost six years ago, wanting to kill every person who rang my phone off the hook, wanting to know if "the baby" was here yet.

Let me give you what may become the most useful piece of advice you get: Do not share your due date with anyone but your husband, and maybe, maybe your other kids and the grandparents-to-be (assuming they can be trusted to keep their mouths shut). Yes, you're excited and you want to shout it out to the world. So, go ahead and shout it out, but shout "around November." Basically, stay away from the specifics!

Also, if you are due near a major holiday, do not tell people that -- because they will remember! And they will call you! When that holiday has come ... and when the holiday has gone ... they will call you -- and there may still be no baby. And you will want to strangle them!

For many of us, pregnancy starts to lose its charm somewhere around the 36th week, and the only thing that keeps us going is the idea that soon this will be over, and we get our bodies back and our babies too ... what a great deal!

And then, the due date comes and goes with nary a contraction. You start to worry you'll be pregnant forever. You're uncomfortable. You miss your feet.

Then, the calls start. Invariably, it's close friends and family members, people who are on the "call the minute we're settled after the birth" list. As if you somehow forgot to let them know that, oh yes, you had your baby. As if this may have slipped your mind.

I made the mistake of telling everyone I was due at Thanksgiving. And the calls started the Wednesday before and didn't actually stop until I had the baby a little less than a week later. With the non-pregnant part of my brain, I could acknowledge how sweet it was that our friends were so excited for that little girl to get here. With my pregnancy brain, I wanted to scream at every person on the other end of the line.

Oh, and then there's the "Haven't you had that baby yet?" from people you barely know; cashiers at your favorite store, neighbors you only casually wave at, someone you met at a party three months previous. "Ha ha! Not yet, she's taking her own sweet time!" can get really, really old.

There's no way out of this one if you've already told everyone your due date. Just smile, be gracious, and remember it's because everyone loves a baby, and your friends especially love you. Promise to call the minute there is news ... and then start screening your calls.

If you haven't shared your due date, or if it's early enough in your pregnancy that you can plausibly change what you've said before, do it. Do it now. And enjoy the peace and quiet. 

Have you shared your due date with the world or are you keeping it under wraps?


Image via spaceodissey/Flickr

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