The 'Do Not Do' When Pregnant List

Amy Kuras

Pregnancy hormones affect us mamas in strange, strange ways. Every woman who has been pregnant has a story of undertaking a deeply misguided project that just absolutely had to get done by the time the baby was born or THE WORLD WOULD END. See, the upside of all those hormones is that a lot of women experience a major energy burst in second or third trimester and turn into a dynamo, but our judgement is not always the greatest.

Whether it's something as simple as cleaning all your baseboards within an inch of their lives or embarking on a major home renovation, we all have our lapses. Some of them are wiser than others, but some are not wise at all. Here are 5 things no pregnant woman should attempt. Ever. 

  • Undertaking any DIY renovation project. Doing so all but guarantees you will find yourself atop a ladder (bad idea) holding a sharp and/or heavy tool, and considering flinging it at your husband (worse idea).
  • Developing a fondness for any TV medical drama. Whether this is actually the case or not, it will start to seem like every week there is a terrifying birth, sick baby, or injured child. You don't have time to be emotionally devastated right now.
  • Watching any "It Gets Better" video. These things are touching enough as it is; imagining your baby-to-be bullied and miserable will turn you into a sniveling lump.
  • Wearing super-tall, wobbly stilettos. People! Have Alicia Keys and Mariah Carey taking tumbles off their shoes while pregnant taught us nothing? Stick with the lower, comfortable wedges and leave the platforms at home.
  • Babysitting your friend's child. Unless she's asked you for help, don't do this in an attempt to do a "dry run" with a real baby and get some practice. Invariably, your friend's cute, charming child will turn temporarily feral and make you doubt your ability to be a mom.
  • Enroll in graduate school. Again, something more than a few people I know have done; I think the mindset is "I can study while the baby sleeps!" Take it from an experienced mom: Not. Gonna. Happen. By the same token don't buy (or borrow from the library) a bunch of books to take to the hospital and/or read while the baby nurses and naps. Magazines are pretty easy to handle with a baby nestled against you ... books are not, at least until you get the hang of things.

It's often a good idea to have a non-pregnant friend to bounce ideas off of; when you think you've just had the best idea ever. You know, someone temporarily unaffected by the hormonal flood to help keep you in check. If not ... well, your baseboards will never be so clean again, so enjoy it.

What crazy thing have you attempted (or want to attempt) during pregnancy?


Image via Alan Cleaver/Flickr

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