Keep Your Camera Away From My Birth Canal

Jeanne Sager

video cameraHave you ever read one of those "what to bring to the hospital when you're having a baby" checklists and wondered who the heck wrote them? They all seem to encourage you to bring a video camera into the delivery room.

Which may be the worst ... idea ... ever!

Seriously, Mom, you're about to bleed and poop on a table and very possibly blow out a few blood vessels in your eyes. And you want to retain a copy of that for posterity?

As my friend A (who has given birth to her own son) very succinctly put it: "Ewww."

If you're a die-hard who plans to tape no matter what I say, stop reading now. It's a personal decision. But if you're still debating "yes or no," here are a few real-life examples that might make the decision for you:

1. The porno flick. Although giving birth is far from sexy -- some women even report being afraid their husbands won't touch them sexually again if they see their vagina stretched out like that -- an inexperienced videographer has been known to zoom in on the wrong place at the wrong time. If you have a friend with an overzealous finger on the zoom button, you may actually end up with an extended video of your clitoris. Not exactly what you want to share with the family.

2. The hard birth. It's been two hours of pushing, and suddenly the doctor is screaming, "Get an operating room ready!" This is something you could have a hard time ever watching. Not to mention you may not want to share it with your child. As one friend said, "I didn't want her seeing what was done to me and forever feeling guilty about it." She destroyed that tape.

3. The divorce. Two people who are very much in love the day their child is born can suddenly turn to two people who are very much in hate. Ever heard the statistic that 50 percent of married couples will end up divorced? One friend reports her hospital has forbidden the taping of births after a disgruntled ex-husband put video of his former wife's crotch up on the Internet.

4. The later child. You didn't tape baby number one, and now you're going to do it for baby number two? Way to give a kid a complex, Mom!

Are you going to tape the birth?


Image via YayAdrian/Flickr

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