Nesting Is for Annoying OCD Pregnant Women

Marj Hatzell
4

Baby shoe
There's this crazy phenomenon that happens while you're pregnant that causes you to nest like crazy right before you give birth.

And when I say right before, that means that most of the baby books and websites tell you that most women will get their shizz in gear a few days to a week (or hours!) before due date.

You know, like a mother bird prepares her nest for her hatchlings? Awwww ... so cute. So natural! SO ANNOYING.

It's a natural, brain-driven compulsion. Some gals just can't help themselves. I mean, THE TUPPERWARE, IT'S NOT SORTED. Others just wash every article of baby clothing in their house in the most expensive baby laundry detergent they can find. After all, the washer will NOT work after the baby is born and gosh forbid you have to put leftovers away after the baby is born and the containers ARE NOT IN THE RIGHT ORDER. It's almost like Pregnancy-induced OCD. So much fun!

Now, the articles and baby books all refer to this right before you are pregnant. Which happens in just about everyone I've talked to. Except for me. See, I have to be 'unique' and start doing it about a month before, when I'm dilated at the number THREE, and spend the last three weeks of my pregnancy scurrying around painting ceilings. (No, really, I painted whole rooms.) And rearranging furniture. And installing light fixtures, steaming carpets, transplanting bulbs.

Then that very last week I sat there in our humble abode, the cleanest it had ever been, and stared at the walls because there was literally nothing to do. As in, I had even wiped the light switches, washed all curtains, dusted blinds, and wiped fingerprints from the walls. What do you mean, sleep? SLEEP? THAT'S FOR THE WEAK! There must be a dent in the wall I could spackle someplace!

I'm sure people laughed at me. Heck, I laughed at me when I realized what I was doing. I even monogrammed Christmas stockings (both of my guys were born in December). I even knitted booties. I was so ready for those babies. It's nature's way of saying, "Okay! They can come now! Any day would be nice! BRING IT ON." And just about everyone experiences it. So get ready.

If there is one thing I could change between my first and second pregnancy (besides not getting pregnant when I had a nursing 1-year-old), it would be to make a list. Make a list of the things you might want to accomplish. Except, fill it with things like, "Freeze leftovers and mark with date" or "Go out with my GRRRLZ about 20 times since I'll never see them again. Until they have babies." Heck, go to museums. Fancy restaurants. You know, places you might not see for a while? Read books. LOTS OF 'EM. Pleasure books, the ones you won't be able to pick up for a long time. Yes, preparing for your arrival is a good idea and cleaning the house so you bring baby home to a healthy environment is awesome. But baby could really care less about the difference between raffia cream and butter cream eggshell enamel versus satin finish. Just sayin'.

So, if you must nest, try to channel it in a few helpful areas:

  • Stock the fridge and pantry with nutritious but easy-to-prepare meals. Stay away from salty comfort food. Because you'll eat it.
  • Catch up on the deep cleaning. When you move your sofa, you might become independently wealthy like I did, since my husband had a penchant for losing pennies in the cushions.
  • Wash the baby's clothes and stuff. Unless you like your little rugrats to smell like sizing. Nothing like smelling a new baby and being all, "Mmmmm! SIZING! I recognize that, it's Carter's!"
  • Pack your hospital suitcase, if you're going there to deliver. Pack crackers and juice boxes because sometimes they are big meanies and won't give them to you.
  • Pamper yourself. You won't have time for YOU for a while. Get your hair did, get those toenails painted. Even if you can't see them. I've even heard of gal pals getting a Brazilian to prepare. You know, so the doctor has something pretty to look at while you push something the size of a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon?

What's most important at this time is to have fun and be excited about the arrival of your bundle of joy. Just don't overdo it and climb ladders and paint ceilings like SOME UNNAMED PEOPLE I KNOW.

Now that you know this ... how will you nest?


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