The Scariest Baby Name in the World

Jeanne Sager

Bill MaherWooo baby. There's a bunch of scary infants crawling around Britain, and it isn't the possibility they'll pee in your face when you're changing their diapers (nappies?) that has grown men all atwitter.

It's their names.

Or their name to be more precise. Just one name has grown men like Bill Maher acting like the end of the world is coming.

So what's a mom to do to fend off Armageddon?

Don't name your kid Mohammed.

It's baby name number one in jolly old England at the moment, and the pundit sounded like he could use his own nappy when he reported on it last week. Said Maher, "Am I a racist to feel alarmed by that? Because I am. And it's not because of the race, it's because of the religion. I don't have to apologize, do I, for not wanting the Western world to be taken over by Islam in 300 years?"

Hey, we get you Bill. With Jacob and Isabella at the top of the Social Security Administration list here on our side of the pond, we've been pondering whether the Western world will be taken over by vampires in 300 years.

That doesn't make us bigoted. It makes us stupid. Sound familiar?

It's just how your kid's kindergarten teacher will feel standing in a playground screaming, "Yo, Mohammed, your mom's here!" and having 16 little Mohammeds come a running. Come to think of it -- that is scary. I know I get a little freaked when I'm the only thing standing between a pile of ankle biters running out of school and that playground equipment.

Before you get that nappy in a twist, she's better prepared for this than I am. She's not worried that Islam is taking over the world (she really couldn't give two hoots). She'd just like a little variety before resorting to Mohammed 1, Mohammed 2, and Mohammed with the green shirt.

She had the same problem back in the '80s when every girl who walked into her kindergarten class was named Jennifer or Ashley. The parents seemed to frown when she mixed them up.

In which case, can we recommend a few nicknames for your little Mohammed to be?

How about Mo? Hammy? M to the Hammed?

Does this spike in Mohammed popularity scare you?


Image via david_shankbone/Flickr

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