Is there anything funny about infertility? Surprisingly, the answer is yes ... at least sometimes. A post on The New York Times Motherlode blog talks about women who have found humor, sometimes deep, dark humor, but humor all the same, in their struggles with infertility.
And really, sometimes it is funny -- the horrible moment of clarity when you realize that, in fact, you have been screaming at your husband about nothing because the Clomid has made you nuts, giggling at your own wussiness when you drive half an hour to have a nurse give you a trigger shot, and your absolutely hilarious sperm analysis story (we all have one).
Personally, I credit the wickedly hilarious infertility blogs I came across when I was really hitting the depths of my infertility journey with nothing short of bringing me back to myself.
One of the blogs I credit with saving me is A Little Pregnant, written by Julie Robichaux. Julie recently won a "People's Choice" award from Resolve, the National Infertility Organization, for Best Blogger.
She's got a bizarre, subversively funny sense of humor: her current post riffs on the debate going on about how difficult Facebook can be for infertiles. She's now the mother of two boys, both born of fertility treatments, but motherhood has in no way dulled her edge. If you're currently in the vortex of suck, go back in her archives and read from the beginning. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll become her devoted fan.
Many of the ones I used to read, like Julie, are written by women who are now mothers: Awesome, but probably not what you want to be dealing with when you're staring down your third BFN. One cool one I have come across is 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility, written by a woman who calls herself InfertileNaomi. She started her blog during the all-too-familiar experience of sobbing on a toilet seat after yet another unsuccessful cycle.
I came to a realization that crying every month was starting to get a little boring and it didn’t seem to help the situation. I decided to change my perspective and even try to see the humor in infertility. If we could all learn to laugh at ourselves, our daily lives would be much more happier.
The fact is, this stuff sucks, hard and brutally. If you haven't been through it, you can't imagine the soul-killing grind of trying to have a baby and failing, month after miserable month. Getting in touch with your own pissed-off irreverence is a way to make a tough situation lighter, and also can let you claim the experience as difficult when you're surrounded with positive-thinking chirpiness on the message boards and ridiculous advice in real life.
What helps you laugh at infertility?
Image via How I See The World Around Me/Flickr
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Comments 4
My DH help me laugh! He says that I keep him laughing, also. We have had a lot of hits with infertility, and I really think if I didn't laugh, I'd be in a deep, deep depression. A few months ago, he decided that we were doing "it" wrong, so he came up with a plan to do "it" right. He told me that we had to try one month his way. Granted, we didn't get pregnant, but it was one of the funniest months of TTC that we've had. I'd randomly get text messages about what I needed to do to ensure our success. One day it was immediately jump up and down 50 times, and another it was run outside and yell "I love my husband!". There was lots of other things, but those are the G ones! Then there are the jokes over injections, timed intercourse, and doctor's appointments. With having three losses, keeping a sense of humor isn't only healthy, it's pretty much a necessity. Thanks for the blog link, I look forward to reading it! Good luck to those out there still trying, it will be your turn one day!
I think humor can help an infertile person get a sense of control back over the situation. You can't control your infertility, but you can try to control how you react to it and deal with it. I got pregnant on one of my assisted cycles after I started to feel more "in control" of my own infertility experience. I would never (never, never!) say that it was "feeling better" that let me get pregnant (uh, hello, I was on fertility drugs!!) but I think it helped slightly, at least. So yeah, go ahead and laugh if it helps you deal! Humor is a great thing.