Pregnancy Boards Primer: You're Not as Dumb as You Feel

Jeanne Sager
15

pregnancyThe first time I went on a pregnancy bulletin board, I was shocked. Do all these women really think their significant others are dickheads? Is that my fate?

If you're already rolling your eyes, you know what I didn't. DH is not a derogatory name for your baby daddy. It's your dear husband, and you just love that guy to bits.

Der. Open foot ... insert mouth.

If you're popping up on a pregnancy bulletin board, chances are you're pregnant -- or trying to get there. And chances are pretty good you've never been on one of these before. I know I never had a reason to chat up the parents when I was living the married, no kids lifestyle. The parents didn't exactly want me there either.

So here's a crash course to keep you from sounding like a dumbass when you try to find your new Mom friends (maybe even here on CafeMom?):

TTC -- Trying to conceive.

IF -- Appropriate acronym for the confusing time that is dealing with infertility.

PG -- Once you move past TTC, what was heretofore a movie rating is now you (hopefully): pregnant.

FMU -- First morning urine (yes, women really talk about this).

LO -- Little one.

EDD -- Estimated due date.

WD -- Working dad.

DH -- The aforementioned Dear Husband. He would appreciate if you didn't think of him as a dickhead. Unless he is one, of course.

DS -- Not a Nintendo game system, but the boy who will play with it one day -- your "dear son."

BF -- Breastfeeding.

FF -- Formula-feeding.

GTT -- Expect this one mid-pregnancy. You'll have a glucose tolerance test to ensure you don't have gestational diabetes.

BFN -- Big Fat Negative on that pregnancy test.

BFP -- Woohoo, you're pregnant! You got a Big Fat Positive on that test.

SAHM -- Stay-at-home mom.

WOHM -- Works-outside-of-home mom.

M/S -- The dreaded morning sickness.

U/S -- They're not getting over-familiar and counting you as one of them. They're just getting an ultrasound.

CM -- Cervical mucus. Yum. And not to be confused with ...

CNM -- Certified nurse midwife.

DC -- Not the capital of our country, it's your "dear child."

O -- Ovulation.

BM -- Breast milk ... but be careful with this one. In a few months it will refer to your kid's latest bowel movement.

D&C -- Dilation and curettage, a medical process often performed after a miscarriage.

MIL -- Mother-in-law (aka, the woman you'll be trying to keep out of the delivery room).

AP -- You didn't take these classes in high school. It's attachment parenting.

EML -- A dream come true: extended maternity leave.

LOK -- She's not stopping now, she wants "lots of kids."

PTL -- Not a good sign; someone has pre-term labor.

RUM? -- They want to know, are you married?

RUS? -- Someone wants to know, are you single?

This is just a start, we know. What are the acronyms that have thrown you for a loop?


Image via Arwen Abendstern/Flickr

 

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