The first time I went on a pregnancy bulletin board, I was shocked. Do all these women really think their significant others are dickheads? Is that my fate?
If you're already rolling your eyes, you know what I didn't. DH is not a derogatory name for your baby daddy. It's your dear husband, and you just love that guy to bits.
Der. Open foot ... insert mouth.
If you're popping up on a pregnancy bulletin board, chances are you're pregnant -- or trying to get there. And chances are pretty good you've never been on one of these before. I know I never had a reason to chat up the parents when I was living the married, no kids lifestyle. The parents didn't exactly want me there either.
So here's a crash course to keep you from sounding like a dumbass when you try to find your new Mom friends (maybe even here on CafeMom?):
TTC -- Trying to conceive.
IF -- Appropriate acronym for the confusing time that is dealing with infertility.
PG -- Once you move past TTC, what was heretofore a movie rating is now you (hopefully): pregnant.
FMU -- First morning urine (yes, women really talk about this).
LO -- Little one.
EDD -- Estimated due date.
WD -- Working dad.
DH -- The aforementioned Dear Husband. He would appreciate if you didn't think of him as a dickhead. Unless he is one, of course.
DS -- Not a Nintendo game system, but the boy who will play with it one day -- your "dear son."
BF -- Breastfeeding.
FF -- Formula-feeding.
GTT -- Expect this one mid-pregnancy. You'll have a glucose tolerance test to ensure you don't have gestational diabetes.
BFN -- Big Fat Negative on that pregnancy test.
BFP -- Woohoo, you're pregnant! You got a Big Fat Positive on that test.
SAHM -- Stay-at-home mom.
WOHM -- Works-outside-of-home mom.
M/S -- The dreaded morning sickness.
U/S -- They're not getting over-familiar and counting you as one of them. They're just getting an ultrasound.
CM -- Cervical mucus. Yum. And not to be confused with ...
CNM -- Certified nurse midwife.
DC -- Not the capital of our country, it's your "dear child."
O -- Ovulation.
BM -- Breast milk ... but be careful with this one. In a few months it will refer to your kid's latest bowel movement.
D&C -- Dilation and curettage, a medical process often performed after a miscarriage.
MIL -- Mother-in-law (aka, the woman you'll be trying to keep out of the delivery room).
AP -- You didn't take these classes in high school. It's attachment parenting.
EML -- A dream come true: extended maternity leave.
LOK -- She's not stopping now, she wants "lots of kids."
PTL -- Not a good sign; someone has pre-term labor.
RUM? -- They want to know, are you married?
RUS? -- Someone wants to know, are you single?
This is just a start, we know. What are the acronyms that have thrown you for a loop?
Image via Arwen Abendstern/Flickr