Ha Ha, You're Pregnant!

Annie Krasnow
9

When I was first pregnant, I looked at women who were showing and I envied them. They were so close to the end and I wanted to be done already. I am now two weeks away from having my baby and I know some women who are newly pregnant. I guess being pregnant isn't technically a misfortune, but the symptoms are. When I look at these women I'm so happy I'm not them. Does this make me a normal nine-month pregnant person or does it make me terrible?

I just was never the type who basked in the glow of pregnancy. I just don't like the whole experience. I think it's uncomfortable to have people stare at my body. I think the clothes are corny. I hate my huge boobs and my now outie belly button. I'm like Jo Polniaczek from The Facts of Life, but instead of bitterly riding in a motorcycle, I bitchily waddle in with a baby bump.

I had this problem a lot with my daughter after she was born. When she was 6-weeks-old, I wished she was 6-months-old. All of those moms with 6-month-olds really had it down. Then when my daughter was finally that old, I looked at moms with newborns and thought, "boy, I'm so happy I'm over that stage." Then I'd see the 1-year-olds walking. Ahh, the freedom! When my kid could finally walk, I'd look at moms chasing around their klutzy crawlers and I was not envious.

Once my daughter turned about two, I was finally satisfied. I became more of a Tootie Ramsey. I was happily roller skating around with pigtails and had braces that never seemed to bug me. Then I got pregnant again and in a TV minute, I'm back to being Jo.

I know that other people feel this way. I see the pregnant women at pre-school look at me, longing for a bump my size. Some even tell me, "Ugh. I'm so jealous you are so far along." I see the moms with newborns and they are so happy they don't have this bump. They complain about how hard it is to have a newborn, but trust me, as they watch me unsuccessfully try to hide my acid reflux they feel better.

I wonder sometimes if I'll look back at this time and miss it. I really don't think so though. When I look back at my last pregnancy, I think about how I hated that, too. I, of course, loved the result so much I did it again, but I was never nostalgic for the physical state. In two weeks I cannot wait to say, "Good riddance to pregnancy. See you never."

Are you jealous of women who are closer to birth than you are? Or do you love being pregnant?

 

Image via Vittis from Lithuania/Flickr

 

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