3-Time Surrogate Mom: Could You Do It?

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pregnant

Could you go through this for someone else?

Pregnancy. It’s a long, long row to hoe even when you’re good at it -- god, that last trimester! But this woman’s been through it six times, and only three were hers. She’s a three-time surrogate mom who delivered a onesie, twins, and triplets for paying customers, and now she has set up a surrogate agency in Seattle.

Surrogate agencies abound, but I don’t think many are run by women who’ve, er, walked the walk.

It all got me thinking: Would I be able to be a surrogate?

The short answer is, no. I’m old as hell, I had a preemie the first time, and the second time, I spent my entire third trimester plotting ways to scare myself into early labor again. But the long answer is … being a uterus for rent seems really hard. You talk to the baby inside you. You nurture her with every bite you take. You lie there at night not sleeping because your hormones are going haywire. What’s it like to go through all that and hand the baby over?

I guess adoptive moms do that. And it's an amazing, amazing gift to give someone who can't carry a child, I'm not denying that. I would like to think I could, but carrying a baby is really intimate.

To me, it's less intimate to donate eggs. But I’ve talked to friends who say they’d rather carry a baby with no biological tie to them than donate an egg and let go of a genetic link like that.

I’d hand over 12 eggs before I’d carry a baby for someone. I’m fighting my way back to my own body after giving birth. I don’t even recognize myself from the neck down.

How about you? Could you be a surrogate? Could you give up an egg? If you had to, which would you choose?


Image via SeansMomma/CafeMom


childbirth, twins & more, adoption

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jalaz77 jalaz77

Funny how I was looking into this specific thing today!!! Fate! Yes I would do this HOWEVER I would not use my egg. I looked into an agency called CSP and they have a HUGE list of states they will NOT work with because of unfavorable laws. So now what? Answer is yes, I love being pregnant and and to be able to give someone something they want so badly.

epoh epoh

I would and I wish I could. Unfortunately I've had two late term preemies so that risks me out :(

ELIZA... ELIZABETHSMO902

I would if it payed enough for plastic surgery and them some after !

ChEMOM ChEMOM

hey it pays good. lol yes I would if I was outta work or something. I would NOT give my eggs under any circumstances tho. ANY.

Just2... Just2busymom

Absolutely I'd be a surrogate.  To give  a couple the chance of being parents, you betcha! 

nonmember avatar Allboys

Only for someone I loved dearly. I would never allow my body to be turned over to people I didn't know on a deep level. There is no way I could abort a healthy baby. I would also run into very significant moral dilemmas if I found out the parents were bad people.

Bluel... Blueliner

Nope, most surrogates get paid like 30k for the 9 months and it sooooo not enough for me to want to go through a pregnancy for someone else. I guess if you were the type that liked being pregnant it would be easy money but I'm NOT a fan of being pregnant and that's knowing that the child I'm carrying is my own! I also wouldn't donate eggs, it would be way to weird for me to know that I have a child out there being raised by strangers... and what if my DD or DS grows up, meets them and falls for them? Unlikely but a VERY disturbing thought!

moder... modernmom2010

I'd be a surrogate for someone I cared deeply about. i would even donate eggs if it meant someone who truly deserved a child could have that gift

ethan... ethans_momma06

I admit that I could do a surrogacy before egg donation. While I would have a tie with a surrogate child (you are GROWING that person and are 'happy' to be pregnant), a person who used my eggs would have a genetic tie, not only to ME, but to my entire family and heritage. My youngest son alread has ears from my mothers, mothers, fathers side of the family (yes, they are THAT distinguishable). It may not seem like that big of a deal, but I don't think I could knowingly just toss that link away to a person who very likely would never know any of their biological history.


Genetics from our entire families help shape who we are- whether we like it or not. Being a surrogate doesn't mean that I give my entire family (and all it's wonky history), but rather that I give a part of myself. And I think that would be easier for me to do/accept.

Proud... ProudSingleMum

Even a normal pregnancy can result in death to the mother...it's not a risk I'm willing to take for a child that is not mine biologically...especially since I already have 1 biochild and no father for him.

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