There comes a time in every pregnant woman's life when she finally has to come out of her happy bubble and tell the rest of the world. A little preparation is in order -- you could be facing ear-piercing happy squeals or a whole lot of nothing.
First up: how to break it to your friends that girls' night out will be minus one from here until 18.
On second thought, don't lead with that part.
While you're at it, a few more DON'TS:
Tell Them How It Happened. You may be kvelling that letting him take you from behind resulted in conceiving a boy. But your girlfriends don't need the words "doggy style" in their mind next time they see your hubby.
Pull Out Your Pee Stick. You urinated on that thing. 'Nough said.
Sigh Heavily. Can the pity party wait a few months? Moaning your life is over, telling them to lose your number, etc. can wait at least until you start throwing up constantly. You'll want them feeling sorrowful enough to bring you the giant greasy cheeseburgers that -- for some strange reason -- are the only thing you can keep down.
Rub It In. You may be the first of your girlfriends to finally get a bun in her oven, but no one wants to be reminded of the ominous biological clock ticking. Be especially mindful of skipping the "nah, nah, nuh, nah, nah" if your other friends are trying to conceive.
Call Them Up or Meet Them Out Somewhere. If they're your "friends," they don't want to find out on Facebook with your high school lab partner and the girl who gives you extra whip at Starbucks.
Pack Earplugs. It's a sad commentary on our gender, but when a friend announces she's pregnant, we revert to the tweenaged pitch of our voices.
Start Scouting Sitter Potential. Not everyone likes to babysit, and that's OK. But you can always suss out the one who really means it when she says, "I can't wait to babysit!" Put her number on speed dial. Now.
Have you told the girls yet?
Image via lovejanine/Flickr