There isn't a much more heartbreaking thing than the loss of a baby. I was very lucky in that while I had a difficult time getting pregnant, once I was, I had very healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. I can't imagine the pain of going through a pregnancy, however long it lasts, and then the rug gets pulled out from under you in the most brutal of ways.
Parents who know that grief all too well are claiming today, Friday, October 15, as a Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant Loss. Several groups around the country are holding walks today or Saturday; they're also sponsoring a "Wave of Light" by asking people to light a candle at 7 p.m. in whichever time zone they are in and leave it lit for an hour, sending a "wave of light" across the Earth.
The organizers of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day write on their site, "Our goal is to help others relate to our loss, know what to say, do or not say, not do, and to help families live with their loss, not 'get over' their loss."
It's not easy to think about losing a baby, and that means that often friends and family don't know what to say. Or worse, they trivialize it, behaving as if the loss of a child that lived only in its mother's womb or lived only briefly is not deserving of grief.
Honestly, I can't imagine how anyone who is a mother, or has wanted to be one, could minimize such a loss. We begin our relationship with our babies long before they are born, and losing them before that relationship even gets a chance to develop is nothing short of tragic.
I'll be holding my friends who have lost children in my heart today, and giving an extra hug to my two little ones. Because they're here, and I can. I wish my friends could do the same.
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