Should Dads Say 'We're' Pregnant?


pregnant manThe last time scientists checked, only women can gestate a human baby for nine months. So next time you hear a dad announce, "We're pregnant," feel free to roll your eyes obviously and mutter something derisive under your breath.

Sorry buddy. We're glad you're into this whole fatherhood thing.

But until you're ready to take our hemorrhoids and hug the same bathroom toilet where you know your co-worker just took a monstrous number two, YOU don't get to share the title.

You planted the seed. Now you're just riding shotgun while we try to grip the wheel with a basketball keeping our short arms from holding on at 10 and 2.

Hey, I'm all for dads' rights and dads who give a darn. My husband gets righteously indignant when he hears about a dad who think it's OK to skip out on diaper duty. He's not just a father. He's a dad, and he pretty much rocks it if I do say so myself (biased, schmiased).

I'll even grant you he's been a "dad" since I jumped into his arms in our teeny tiny bathroom and almost sent his whole body crashing into the toilet because I was so excited about those two pink lines. He got bonus points for not rubbing his arm and screaming "ouch." And not telling me I scream like a girl.

But the gestating? I did that by myself.

I puked myself. I laid in an emergency room with an IV in my veins trying to rehydrate me while he got all nauseous about the needle in MY arm (ahem, proof that men couldn't hack being pregnant?).

I developed cankles that were worth their spot in the elephant cage at the zoo. I waddled to work. I sat down on the ground and tried to get back up again only to realize I now had to actually grab onto something to get off the floor.

And I pushed a 6-pound, 14 1/2-ounce baby out of my crotch. He grabs his you-know-what when he just sees a guy on a movie being kicked in the nether regions.

He held my hand. And told me he loved me. He was a great husband and a great dad during my pregnancy.

My pregnancy, folks. MY pregnancy.

If science wants to hand over the reins any time, I wouldn't be one of those mushy gushy women crying about their "sacrifice" for their child and their "need" to give their precious swookums that time in their womb. I'd be all about handing it over faster than my kid chooses the babysitter over me at discipline time.

But until that happens, he doesn't get to say "we're" pregnant.

Does it bother you when guys say this?

Image via Vee Dub/Flickr

fathers, motherhood


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iam4you2 iam4you2

Ít does not bother me when a man says were pregnant. I actually am happy for those who are proud and acknowledge it. Many men don't. But I do feel it is MY pregnancy when I am pregnant.

earth... earthsangel2006

No it doesn't bother me. 

It may be "MY" pregnancy, but guess who's sitting beside me the whole time...MY husband. He has to deal with massive mood swings, complaints about anything and everything, my insufferable need to be comfortable and never reaching that point. 

It would be different if he wasn't supportive and saying "We're Pregnant," but for him to be active in your pregnancy(even if he's not the one carrying the baby) shouldn't really bother anyone. 

Erin1108 Erin1108

My DH has fully earned the right to say "our" pregnancy. He's the one who jumped up and down with me when we got pregnant, he's the one who drove 45 minutes to get me ice cream at 2 in the morning (we live in the boonies, our stores all close at 9). He's the one who got me Buffalo Wild Wings for almost every meal. And he's the one who cried with me when we lost our babies, and held me, and told me it was okay to miss them, and hurt for them. He's now the one who sits beside me at infertility appointments, to get bloodwork, and who tells me I'm sexy even though the drugs have made me gain weight and break out, and make me seem like my heads going to start spinning. He's the one who gives me shots every day in my stomach, and feels bad because they hurt. So, when we get a pregnancy that sticks, he has every right to say "we're pregnant". I may be the one that gestates, but I don't think I could do it without him.

madfoot madfoot

Haha. i think it's cute that men want to take this on, and it sure beats the old-school Mad Men way of being totally divorced from the experience, but... they can take it too far. I was out once and saw 3 women with a newborn, and they all looked equally skinny, so I exclaimed "Which one of you had this baby?" and the one who was the mom of the baby -- her husband piped up with this smarmy "WEEEEE did!"

I know what he was getting at -- he felt left out, poor widdle pumpkin. But when I fixed him with a withering glare and said "wow, you really took off the baby weight," he looked like he felt a little stupid for claiming something that frankly wasn't rightfully his.

I guess that's a little harsh, but really -- do men have to try to take credit for absolutely everything?! How about cheering the woman on without making it ALL ABOUT THEM?

ethan... ethans_momma06

You know... in this society we constantly CONSTANTLY complain that the 'guy' doesn't get invovled enough. We have governement (run? sponsored?) websites aimed at getting guys to be a better father. But there's a lot we do to exclude them like going 'How dare you say 'WE' are pregnant? YOU aren't pushing this watermelon out!'.

You want the guy to be involved, right? You want him at the dr.'s visits, you want him at the U/S, you want him to attend the child birth classes, you want him to massage your giant swollen feet, get you your tums in the middle of the night, get you a glass of ginger ale while you are puking your guts out, you want him to be at the birth, you want him to catch the baby or cut the umbilical cord, you want him to change that first poopy diaper- but then you insist that HE isn't a part of that pregnancy, YOU are.

I think, considering that this is an event that took both of you to make, and asks a lot from BOTH of you (albiet different roles) that it is abolultly wonderful that a Father to be would consider that both of yours. If he's announcing 'We're pregnant' chances are, he's going to be involved and that is great- for YOU!

MomIWant MomIWant

LOL! My hubby said "we are having a baby" and we were.  I never heard him say "we're pregnant" and now that would be okay with me, but during those 9 months notsomuch.

Mommy... MommytoIsabella

I didn't get pregnant on my own, I won't raise this child on my own, and it isn't only my child. My husband has been there since the none of this can just be MINE. Now, granted, he has never said 'We're pregnant.' He always said 'Mandy's pregnant.' or 'We're having a baby' but he can say it any way he chooses. :)

Brand... BrandyEck

@Erin1108, you made me cry.  Beautifully said.

jamba... jambalover

it wouldn't bother me at all.  in fact i think i say "when we got pregnant" and the like.

Nicole Peterman

Totally selfish if you ask me. I think ethans_momma06 hit it dead on. They helped make the baby. Why would you snatch that up and say "me me me"? Ever wonder if they might feel a little used? unappreciated? The last thing you wanna do when you're having a baby, is make the daddy feel like he has no part in it.

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