10 Reasons Pregnancy Stinks

Being a Mom 113

pregnant belly

I don't trust people who enjoy pregnancy.

Okay, okay. I'm not saying that I don't like them -- some of my closest friends loved all nine months -- I'm just saying that I don't trust them.

What on earth is there to like about pregnancy, exactly? I mean, sure, the end result is glorious (sometimes), but pregnancy? Pregnancy is pure hell. There is simply something wrong with people who can not only grin and bear it, but glow. It's just not healthy.

Need more? Let's discuss the joys:

1. The morning sickness. With me, it was more like 'round the clock sickness. I puked everywhere, on everything. Streets, the sink, the car, my bed ... I had no control at all. It's a marvel that I still managed to gain 60 pounds each time. Go, me!

2. The loss of all bladder control. It's bad enough to have to pee all the time, but it's a whole other thing to not be able to control when you do pee. Urine control is especially difficult while vomiting. See above.

3. The heartburn. I had never before experienced this sensation and it's pure hell. I thought I was dying.

4. The swelling. Oh, my poor feet! My poor hands. My poor everything.

5. The hormones. I'm not normally an emotional person, but when I'm expecting? I'm a total and complete mess. It's funny! It's tragic! Love me! Leave me alone! I exhausted even myself.

6. The sleeping. Being totally and completely exhausted but not being able to fall asleep is a special kind of torture.

7. The strangers. Normally, people do not walk up to you and offer unsolicited advice. They don't touch your stomach or tell tales of their experiences or ask what you plan on doing with your breasts. Why do these things suddenly become acceptable?

8. The sex. It's like some sort of horrible sci-fi movie. I still haven't fully recovered.

9. The feeling that a baby is about to fall out of your vagina. Remember that feeling? For the last few weeks the pressure is unbearable. I literally walked like I was holding a melon in my thighs. It was quite a sight.

And last but not least:

10. Um ... hello? Childbirth! If you think the grossness ends with your first contraction, you are sorely mistaken. Childbirth is pretty much the grossest thing ever. And, if you disagree on that, I really don't trust you.

So, what did I miss? What did you find miserable?

And, if you truly loved pregnancy, please share with me your secrets. Or drug of choice. I'll take either.


113 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Madel... MadelynMc

Haha this is great. You forgot leaky breasts, though. That's when I thought I was dying.

MomIWant MomIWant

LOL!!!  The heartburn (which was in my throat btw) was the absolute worst!!!!!!

poshkat poshkat

i had cystic acne on my back and face that I'm still battling almost 4 years later.

sstepph sstepph

The mood changes was the worst, I would cry one minute and laugh the next! The feeling of him wanting to come out of my vagina everyday was not fun. I dropped super early and it was terrible, the waddling and oh, the best.. the walking farts. Yep. hha.

nonmember avatar melissa

i hated pregnancy and delivery. i looked at it as a means to an end. i didn't mind the pregnancy sex though, i had really intense orgasms so that made the uncomfortable positioning worthwhile. well, until my youngest decided to have his head hanging out of my vagina for the last couple of months...then sex sucked. well actually, it was non-existent.
i'm not even going to mention the crater-like stretch marks on my tummy and hips...omg.
yeah, pregnancy...not fun. glad i'm never doing it again. EVER.

Rita Anderson

With so much information on how our thoughts create our reality, how the way we feel, and what we think during your pregnancy does affect our child in such extreme ways, changing our thoughts could just end up making a huge difference in the lives of our children.
It's Just a thought I want to send your way.
All Ways With Love
RA

nonmember avatar Paula Chapman

The "morning" sickness which started at 3pm and lasted the rest of the night. Felt like a truck ran me over!

Kimberly Davies Shipley

This is funny I admit but my experience was nothing like that. I did enjoy being pregnant. why?
I was never sick.
I didn't lose bladder control
My heartburn was minimal
I didn't have the sleeplessness
yeah the sex part stinks but that didn't mean pregnancy sucked and I think because I have a lot of tattoos strangers stayed away, only once did someone touch me. And to end it all,I was in labor for 53 hours, if I am not complaining, I think anyone enjoy those 9 months.

Kim
http://www.thegirlisamom.com

nonmember avatar Sue McShane Pau

The leaking out of every orifice. Hated every moment. You can trust me.

Nancylee Myers Limond

I loved pregnancy... minus the last few weeks and the gas! I hated the added pressure and the labor part! But otherwise I LOVED pregnancy, i only had morning sickness for a week or 2 with 2 of my children and none with the last child. I wasnt too hormonal and i didnt have heartburn but maybe once or twice! Towards the end of each pregnancy tho I went into labor 6 weeks early and always ended up going past my due date for delivery. . . 

1-10 of 113 comments 12345 Last
F