50 Kickass Things to Do Before Kids

have high expectations signThere are things you need to do before you have a baby -- before you even conceive. Before you even get caught up in the dizzying warp of trying to have a baby. And before you get wrapped up in the intoxication of having a child.

Parenting is not a death sentence, but in a way, it is. It is the end of any extremely carefree and selfish days or nights. It can be the end of your superiorly hot body or mark the last days of reckless behavior. Until, of course, the kids are older and out of the house. But there is a chance that by that time, you'll be too old to do these things anyway or not care anymore. Or, worse ... be dead. So why not make a parenting bucket list?

Take advantage of the time while you have it. Here are 50 supremely awesome things to do before you do all things "mom."

  1. Go to an after-hours club and never worry about when the sun is coming up
  2. Take a road trip and just drive without a clear destination
  3. Go to an amusement park -- yes, enjoy it as an adult without kids
  4. Get in really great shape and take photos of yourself
  5. Refer to the sexual bucket list
  6. Have a house party
  7. Go to a rock concert and make your way backstage to enjoy the debauchery
  8. Put some dollars in g-strings at a strip club (once you have kids, especially if you have a girl, this activity will never be the same)
  9. Have a girl friends only getaway
  10. Volunteer some of your free time to a favorite charity
  11. Spend time in a faraway place with a different culture
  12. Write down your life goals (great to revisit this after kids)
  13. Start a scrapbook of your own childhood (you may never get to this if you wait)
  14. Start a scrapbook of your husband's childhood
  15. Quit the job you hate and embark on a career you love
  16. Write that book, record that album
  17. Take really long luxurious baths
  18. Get to know moms around your age and dabble in motherhood through their eyes
  19. Spend the entire day naked with your partner making love in every room of your house
  20. Learn another language
  21. Master your signature dish
  22. Own a sports car or convertible -- it feels too desperate after kids
  23. Wear high heels every day
  24. Be spontaneous
  25. Skydive
  26. Bungee jump
  27. Go cave diving
  28. Own and drive a motorcycle
  29. Drive around in a NASCAR
  30. Take classes, finish or start continued education
  31. Drink champagne for breakfast
  32. Lie on the beach and read a book alone
  33. Keep a messy house
  34. Sleep in. Then sleep in some more
  35. Enjoy being bored
  36. Experiment with really long nails (once the kids come, long nails go ... too dangerous)
  37. Wear lipstick (no one likes kiss marks on a baby's face)
  38. Get drunk in the afternoon
  39. Play music really loud in the mornings
  40. Experiment with parenthood by having cats or dogs
  41. Enjoy your childless friends
  42. Own a pet snake
  43. Run with the bulls
  44. Swim with the sharks
  45. Have fun with fashion; get really dressed up even on days you aren't doing anything
  46. Make Halloween R-rated (gory) or X-rated (naughty)
  47. Go out to dinner every night of the week
  48. Enjoy junk food now (it's bad for adults, yes, but worse for kids)
  49. Write down 5 things your parents did that you will never do (revisit this after kids)
  50. Be selfish ... just a little ... okay a lot

If you are a parent already, how many have you done on this list prior? If you are childless, have you completed all 50 yet? Have any others to add?


Image via christyxcore/Flickr

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