8 Things No One Warns You About Being Pregnant

Proceed With CautionThere are so many books, and websites, and magazines out there full of free advice about pregnancy. Most of it is helpful and prepares you for what's ahead. But there is a lot of information missing.

I just wish someone had warned me that having problems sleeping really means NOT SLEEPING and that being pregnant really feels like being fat. Read ahead for the rest and consider yourself warned.


1. Although you are logically aware that you are pregnant, you still feel fat. It's just hard to go from a functioning human being to waddler.

2. You really don't want to have sex in the end. People talk about how your sex drive is increased during pregnancy, but towards the end it's like, "Seriously, please don't even look at me, let alone touch me." The kicking of the baby doesn't help matters in that department.

3. It feels really strange when your breasts engorge. I know many women are excited to have larger breasts, but if you are someone who is burdened with them in your every day life, it's not so great. Get ready to rip your bras and buy new, bigger more expensive ones.

4. Your husband turns into a douche -- at least with the first pregnancy. They just go through something. They feel "man pressure" about their impending fatherhood and aren't really sure how to handle it. Almost all of my friends experienced this and were shocked. Don't worry. Once baby comes, they get good again.

5. The insomnia is different from regular insomnia. It's different because you feel even more pressure. Not only do you know you need sleep for yourself, you know you need it for your baby. Plus, there is so much great overnight TV on at this point, you aren't bored into falling asleep.

6. Working is really annoying. It's hard to sit in a chair all day. Also, you are just a lot more tired. The good part is, if your boss is being a jerk, it affects you less. You know you are going to go on leave soon and you just don't take him or her as personally. You just have larger things to think about -- like not sleeping.

7. You are out of breath all the time. It's like you have been chain smoking without the fun of chain smoking.

8. It's not fun to lose your appetite at the end. I always dreamt of a day when I had natural portion control. I'm a the point in my pregnancy that I cannot overeat and it's not so great. I imagine it's like lap band surgery. You just get to point that you cannot put any more food in your body. If you do force it, forget sleeping all together.

It's all worth it, of course. I'm doing it for the second time. I just feel like sometimes people are clouded by the love of their baby they forget about the annoying parts. Oh, and the next thing no one tells you about are the first 6 weeks of motherhood ... good luck with that.

Am I missing anything?

Image via jacobenos/Flickr

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