Your Husband Is Secretly Freaking Out

Javier Bardem might be making a good show in the media saying he is "happy" about his wife Penelope Cruz's pregnancy, but according to famous forensic psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow, he may be more scared than he is letting on.

In his book Inside the Mind of Scott Peterson, a book about the infamous California case in which Peterson murdered his pregnant wife, Laci, Dr. Ablow says:

"Becoming a father can shake the psychological foundation of even well-adjusted men."

They're suddenly faced with enormous responsibilities and fears that they aren't allowed to talk about. We all feel it, but men are less allowed to express it (unless they have amazingly well-adjusted friends and family) and so very often they bottle it.

Now, obviously I'm not suggesting Javier Bardem would hurt his wife. But I do think we need more outlets for men to talk about their pregnancy fears.


I'm not sure why it's so taboo. Being scared and stressed doesn't mean he's a bad person. It doesn't mean he'll be a bad father.

Dr. Ablow says that when his wife first told him she was pregnant, his immediate concern was how he wished he could undo it.

My own husband was also apprehensive (as was I). We wondered how our relationship might change, whether we would still love each other and be as close. We wondered if we would have enough money and how to save for college. And we wondered if our daughter would be healthy and if the pregnancy was viable.

It's a joyous time, but it's also a stressful time. Most life changes have two sides.

I sometimes feel like we do ourselves a disservice when we expect everything to be happy and sweet and daisies and roses. Bardem is obviously not going to reveal his life fears and bear his soul to US Weekly, but I do hope he (and other men with pregnant partners) have an outlet for their fears. If we talked more about it, it would make things better for all of us.

Did your partner panic over your pregnancy at first?

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