For a woman struggling through infertility, there aren't a lot of silver linings to latch on to.
So what happens after they finally conceive -- specifically through help from some sort of intervention?
There's a relief ... but also an expectation that this is what life will always be like. Not being able to get pregnant.
One friend had three kids, each with fertility treatments, only to follow up several years later with an oops.
A wonderful oops in this case, but an oops all the same.
Because dealing with infertility several times over often means not thinking you'll ever get pregnant, least of all without help.
So this story on abortion support group Supportion made me cry. The mom struggled with infertility for years, finally giving birth to two healthy children ... and then years later she was 41 and oops.
"Our economic situation was not once it once was. I knew the statistics about babies born to 'older women,' and I knew what a commitment a child was. And honestly, my husband and I didn’t want a third child.
"We didn’t want to sacrifice what we wanted, nor what we could provide our children. We recognized that this pregnancy was a miracle, but it was a miracle that came too late. I cried, thinking of the children I had, of what my unborn baby could potentially be."
It's a story everyone who still clings to the "women who have abortions are careless and using it as birth control" schtick should read. As much as we appreciate our babies, I've wondered at times if infertile couples might appreciate them that much more.
But it also highlights a major fallacy -- that once you're infertile, you're always infertile. Just as having one child doesn't mean you'll be able to have another (secondary infertility affects millions of Americans), it can work the other way as well.
Sometimes being infertile lets your guard down.
Sometimes being infertile can get you pregnant.
Image via jencu/Flickr