'Teen Mom' Stars Catelynn and Tyler Deserve Time to Grieve

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Catelynn and Tyler Teen MomThank you Teen Mom.

Every week, America is forced to face the stereotype that is the biological parent who gave their child up for adoption.

The easy assumption is that they're all drugged up lowlifes who couldn't wait to dump the baby.

But Tyler and Catelynn have thrown that one for a loop.

The teens who saw daughter Carly placed with another family via a semi-open adoption have spent much of this season openly grieving the loss of their daughter.

So when is America going to let it happen?

In a recent interview with People, the teens said they'd like to see Carly and her adoptive parents at their wedding -- when they finish college and actually get hitched.

The responses are jarring:

This is nuts. She is no longer your child. Let her be with her family, the ones who will raise her. You gave her up, period.

Geez. They act like the adoptive parents are just temp babysitters for "their" daughter. Um, she isn't your daughter anymore -- you gave up your rights to her. She has a mom and a dad now.

You gave up your parental rights to this child. She is no longer your daughter so please don't confuse her by having her be flower girl in your wedding. if you wanted her to be part of your life, you shouldn't have chosen adoption. Please think about what's best for HER, not what would be fun for your future wedding.

I don't think Tyler & Catelynn understand that Carly isn't their daughter anymore. They gave up that right the minute they signed the adoption papers. I'm tired of hearing their sob story that they miss their daughter. If you miss her so much you shouldn't have given her up for adoption in the first place! They need to move on with their lives and focus on their future.

Attention, world. Adoption is forever. But biological parents don't suddenly stop feeling the minute a baby is moved out of their arms. Even if they were the bad guys it's easy to imagine they might be, the science of hormones and milk production negate this illusion.

A standard American adoption agency offers free counseling for biological parents for up to a year after the birth and adoption of a child.

While TV viewers are complaining that the teens are throwing out a "sob story," what they're seeing is the grieving process of the average biological parent. Even when they know it's the right decision for them.

"Even in the happiest of moments, someone is going home brokenhearted," says Chandra Hoffman, a former adoption agency case worker whose fascinating new novel Chosen tackles the process in a way that lays out both biological and adoptive parents' warts and all. "Where else in life is the potential for the razor's edge between joy and heartache?"

As Virginia dad John Wyatt makes national news in his fight to overturn an adoption approved by a Utah court of a daughter given up by his ex-girlfriend without his consent, it's becoming more and more difficult to pretend the bio parents just don't count.

"There are no angels and devils in adoption," Hoffman explains. "The whole situation, the word that keeps coming up and the whole reason I wrote the novel is it is just complicated."

And Catelynn and Tyler prove that week after week.

Has this show changed some of your adoption stereotypes?

 

Image via MTV


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