I once worked with a pregnant woman who was obsessed with the fact that people on the subway didn't give up their seat for her. She felt that it was their responsibility to do so and her right as a pregnant person to take the seat.
I thought it was ridiculous that she was so offended by those who refused. She's the one who decided to get knocked up. Why should other people have to bend over backwards for her when they had nothing do with it? Doesn't this take away from the idea that women can do it all?
This is my second pregnancy and I feel like being spoiled ruins the illusion that I can do anything. Part of me wants to suffer through standing in the heat. I want to take the garbage out on my own and carry my 3-year-old across the street. I want to host social gatherings at my house and stay up to watch Top Chef. I would like to move up in the rankings at my job. I would like to prove to the world that being pregnant does not make me weak.
However, the fact of the matter is that I AM weaker. I do not have the stamina I would like to. My ambition has changed from climbing the ladder at work to climbing into bed for a nap. I want to cut every line that I wait on and I'm secretly annoyed when no one offers. I still feel like people don't HAVE to help me, but I sure want them to.
I still believe that there are people who do take advantage of being pregnant. They milk every last morsel until they are sitting down all day long forcing those around them to wait on them hand and foot. Yes, some things are impossible to accomplish alone when pregnant. But the pregnancy divas give all of us a bad name.
There's a fine line between being able to do it all and being able to do nothing. I'm guilty of it, too. Waiting on line may be annoying, but it is doable.
Do you take advantage of being pregnant? Do you think others do?
Image via philcampbell/Flickr
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Comments 18
I agree with Allboys. I am pregnant now and go to culinary school. I do everything everybody in my class does no matter how many times someone says you should sit down and take a break. I won't unless it is break time for everyone else too or I get really wiped out and can't stand up anymore. I will sit and still do my work. I have never met a pregnant diva. I think when a woman is pregnant a young person should give up they're seat or atleast offer they're seat. I mean hello a lot of women have a hard time standing for long.
i didn't get special treatment while i was pregnant. i did everything i had to do. i didn't act like my pregnancy was a handicap. i don't think pregnant women should get special treatment. like you said they are the ones who got pregnant. my sister has a friend who expects everything to be done for her when she's pregnant. even when she's capable of doing it herself. she's very lazy though. she doesn't care for her children and says it's because she's pregnant. some women are like that but not many that i've met.
I think giving up your seat is just something that a decent person would do. I never rode the bus so I don't know. I didn't expect people to wait on me but I did need help from my dh and my parents. I felt like crap the entire time I was pregnant. I was either sick or in pain and I had no energy. For me, taking care of 2 children is 100 times easier than taking care of 1 and being pregnant. If you were able to do more than I was, good for you. Consider yourself lucky
Hah, this could almost be in response to my own work related rant. ALMOST. However, the difference is, I don't expect anyone to do anything for me because I'm pregnant, I ask for help because when I don't, incidents like tonight when I try to lift something and my back says, "Um, No!" happen, and I wind up with my leg giving out from under me as I'm carrying a rack of 16 glasses, fall, break most of the glasses, and hit the side of my head on the counter in the dish room, and someone has to find my glasses that got knocked off my face for me.
Now I'll be asking for help even when people think I'm a Diva. I was in a car accident at the start of this pregnancy, and was seeing a chiropractor three times a week at first, but since the accident has settled, I don't have the money. The next time I ask for help and am told no, or if I'm accused of being a Diva, there is going to be hell to pay. Because normally, like in my last pregnancy, I work myself to death and run rings around everyone. But this time I can't, and since I'm constantly picking up THEIR slack, maybe it's time they returned the favor. Because I'm tired of being the Nice Girl.
I find it unfortunate when a pregnant woman (or elderly, or otherwise challenged individual) is on a moving bus or train - and no one gives up their seat. We all rely on the kindness and courtesy of others to varying degrees. Perhaps it's idealistic to "expect" courtesy, but I ain't mad at your GF for feeling frustrated! As you stated we're simply not as strong, resilient or independent while pregnant. Asking for or desiring help doesn't take away from our power as a woman or an individual. We shouldn't expect to be labeled as either "weak" or a "diva", for doing so.
I worked full-time, on my feet, lifting and moving 50+ lbs. repeatedly until I had DD. One day toward the end, a woman at work said to me as I punched in, "You're still walking around?!" I glared and said, "Yes, how the hell else am I supposed to get where I need to go?"
That said, there's a big difference between expecting everyone to just cater to your every whim and allowing yourself some reasonable limitations during pregnancy. My body was used to that kind of work, an dmy midwife gave me the ok. A good friend of mine couldn't life over 10 lbs. after 4 months. We can't expect others, unless they're close to us, to tell us their medical histories and exactly why they need help, a break, to sit down, etc.
On something like a bus, train, subway, etc., it's not just an issue of a "diva" wanting to rest her feet or something, though. A pregnant woman standing in a moving vehicle of any kind isn't exactly safe.