Are Nursing Boobs Still Sexual?


I never nursed in public unless I was under a cover.

It was a pretty cover with bright flowers, the kind that distracted people from what I was doing. They may not have even known had there not been two little baby feet peeking out from under it.

Now, Rachel, a guest blogger on Nursing Freedom says I had it wrong all that time. I should have been nursing more in public. I probably should have.

I agree with all the arguments she made -- children need to see breastfeeding in order for it to be "normalized." After all, what is more "family friendly" than feeding a baby from the breast, the way we are designed to feed them?

Most of all, I agree with the notion that breasts are not just sexual.

They ARE sexual, to be sure.

I like that they are sexual, but I have never been one of those moms who has trouble compartmentalizing my breasts. When my baby is feeding, I am asexual. When my husband and I are intimate, they are his playthings.

It works for me.

This is not to say I can allow my husband to play with them in quite the same way as he used to. I do get ooked when he does anything close to nursing, but I solved that problem early by weaning my son on one side when he turned one.

One boob for nursing, the other for play. Problem solved.

Since giving birth, my breasts have ceased to be as sexual. And although I am still not comfortable whipping my breasts out in front of my dad (or my father-in-law) or really any male, I do feel a little prudish about that.

After all, why should I feel embarrassed if I am feeding my baby? And trust me. It ain't sexual at all.

The other day my daughter was watching Charlotte's Web and saw the mama pig nursing all her babies.

"Look mommy! It's like you and Alan," my daughter cried about her toddler brother (who is still nursing, albeit only at home).

Tell me: how is that sexual?

Do you think you will have trouble nursing in public?



Image via


emotions, is it normal, motherhood


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Rebecca Sullivan Davis

I have no problem nursing in public. I use a cover because my husband asked me to and I have no problem with it. I dont see breast as a sexual thing anymore, not after nursing 2 babies!! If someone thinks a baby eating is sexual then they are a sicko!!

kelli... kelli0585

I'm on the fence about this.  I'm a nursing mother to a 13 month old, so needless to say that I am pro-breastfeeding.

But I think that the militant breastfeeders ALSO put enormous pressure on the not-so-militant breastfeeders like myself to be out in the open in public.  In my opinion, it's just as bad as the people who don't want you to breastfeed in public at all.  Many new mothers are catching  hell from both sides!  

If I see a mother nursing with no cover, FINE BY ME.  I certainly won't judge, and I obviously applaud her decision to feed her baby the best food available and not be ashamed.  However, just because I use a cover in public to nurse doesn't mean I'm doing it wrong.  My child is still getting the best nutrition and I am comfortable.  My baby is comfortable.  No, boobs shouldn't be sexual, but I don't care what you say.  I still don't feel comfortable "out in the open" as opposed to a light nursing cover AND THAT'S OKAY.  

Am I ashamed?  No.  Do I view boobs as sexual?  Yes during sex, no during nursing.  Am I succumbing to the masses that feel that boobs are sexual and should be covered at all times, including nursing?  NO!!!! 

I don't care what THEY think.  I don't care what the militants think.  I do what's right for my child by breastfeeding, and what's right for ME by wearing a cover.

kelli... kelli0585

I guess what I'm trying to say is that my breastfeeding in public doesn't have to be a "stick it to the man" protest for all breastfeeders everywhere. 

I'm simply breastfeeding for MY CHILD and his health.  I'm not out there to make a statement.

RanaA... RanaAurora

Now... kellio... I totally agree with you, actually. I think my posts make it pretty damned obvious that I am PRO-breastfeeding to the point of hating formula (not formula feeding MOMS... that's not what I said).

But *even I catch flack* from pro-breastfeeders because I hate my body. I don't wear SHORTS in 100 degree weather because I can't stand the thought. I'd never wear a tank top in public unless I was running outside and my house was on fire, and even then I'd probably try to grab a coat. So, I'm sure it's not surprising that my covering up had NOTHING to do with breastfeeding and EVERYTHING to do with my own insecurity with my own body. But a lot of people won't accept that.

I say, look... my nursing cover makes it MUCH MORE OBVIOUS that I'm nursing and frankly, I'm fine with that! In fact, I kind of revel in that fact. And yes, even a covered baby helps normalize breastfeeding.

Eventually I had to give up covering because my daughter thinks it's a game of peek-a-boo and won't nurse, so I had to figure out the double-tank top thing, which I'm getting.  I also won't nurse in front of my dad or a few other males (though male strangers, I don't care) and I still try to hide every inch of skin even if we're not covered.

But I think it's still safe to say I do my part in promoting breastfeeding, eh?

RanaA... RanaAurora

I have never been one of those moms who has trouble compartmentalizing my breasts. When my baby is feeding, I am asexual. When my husband and I are intimate, they are his playthings.

Hear hear.

jeann... jeannesager

I get very frustrated by the breastfeeding contingent that acts like you're failing them by covering up while breastfeeding. Yes, nursing breasts aren't sexual, but we as women still have a right to make the decisions about our own bodies.I suffered from years of eating disoders; nursing in public paralyzed me with fear. I hated feeling like any of my flesh was out there much more than I worried about my breasts being seen.

Instead of "normalizing" breastfeeding, it's an attitude that drives women away from it.

Daynaof3 Daynaof3

Most moms aren't comfortable with breastfeeding in public, at least at first. Practice makes perfect though, practice at home first then venture out. =)

I was very uncomfortable breastfeeding in public, at first I was awkward and unsure. Then I was worried about what others would say or do if they saw me. Now I realize, I don't care! I am feeding my baby, they can get over it, I am not hurting anyone(on the contrary I am helping) and it is a wonderful feeling!

My kids are preschoolers and still nursing once at night so we don't do public breastfeeding anymore, but should I have another one they will be fed anywhere and everywhere they get hungry. =P

Daynaof3 Daynaof3

Jeannesager, I understand how you feel. That's why I always tell moms to do what you are comfortable with, but to at least give it a try. I would suggest getting a nursing tanktop and a sling(or nursing cover if you prefer) and practicing at home. When you feel confident enough try it in public. If you still feel unnerved, don't stress about it and do what you are most comfortable with. I think the point gets misunderstood, no one is saying you MUST do anything just that if you want to you have the right to and there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with it. Period.

happy... happymom1988

i rather bf at home because thats where i feel the most comfortable . i dont care wut anyone says about it , is what works for my baby and i , not for strangers ready to critize !


people will never be 100 % pleased with others actions ! so i let them think w/e they pleased , after all , is not about them but about my son's healthy and a full tummy  : )

ethan... ethans_momma06

I had the hardest time NIP (covered) the first time around. However after a lot of thought I figure that if people can get over the dual function (sexual and practical) of mouths  then they really should have no problem with me feeding my child (where they still don't actually see ANYTHING) where ever and how ever I see fit.

It's a bit challenging but THIS time around I am being more comfortable nursing in public with my cover.

1-10 of 25 comments 123 Last