Jessica Simpson Pregnant With Something

jessica simpsonThe chatter has begun, once again, with my favorite blonde tart at the center: Jessica Simpson. She's not fat from too much food this time, supposedly she's pregnant. Knocked up by her cutie ex-football playing boyfriend Eric Johnson. Or so they say.

I've fiercely defended Simpson in the past -- after her no makeup Marie Claire cover and the John Mayer spill-all in Playboy. And this time isn't going to be any different.


Jessica's weight seems to make the news with a greater frequency than John Mayer has sex with groupies (I'm just guessing -- I do think he's hot in an "oh such a bad idea" kind of way).

So is she pregnant or just fat? They wonder. Not me. And for the record, I don't think she's fat. I mean, she's young, she's dating, maybe she's just a little bloated. So what? Being in a serious relationship does put some extra pounds on a girl since she's no longer drinking vodka for dinner and sleeping until 2 p.m. and therefore totally skipping breakfast.

Plus, is everyone really that clueless to the kind of hell birth control puts a woman's body through? (If she is on BC, that is.) I made the mistake of going on Depo Provera for one year and I not only gained enough weight to go up two jeans sizes (the horror), but I was a raving bitch and very evil to my boyfriend at the time -- the same old flame who recently invited me to his engagement party probably just to prove to me that he is a good guy and that somebody will love him for who he is ... superhero figurine collection and all. (Note: He really is an awesome guy.)

The Pill, NuvaRing ... whatever your poison, it can make you add more than a few. And you know what else can? Love.

And, of course, so can a bun in the oven. IF Jessica is pregnant, I would be so excited for her. She has talked about wanting to be a mom countless times (as all the rags say is the ultimate sign that she is indeed preggo). I really think she'd make a great mom, when and if she is ready to have kids.

But what if she's actively trying to have a baby and it's not working? Fertility drugs also put a body through hell, makes you gain weight, and makes you a raving lunatic bitch, too. Not saying Jess is a raving lunatic bitch, just saying. You know how hard that is when people put pressure on you to be pregnant when you are trying to be pregnant? I do. It's enough to make any lunatic bitch go all batshit on someone.

Maybe she's pregnant with love for Eric, birth control, fertility drugs, or too many chocolate chip cookies. Or maybe she is pregnant with a baby.

The only bad thing I see with any of it is that her boobs will grow even bigger than they already are ... and her dad might get too excited and start blabbing about them again. Cringe.

Love you, Jessica.


Image via SplashNews

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