At no point during my pregnancy did I feel sexy.
Like an elephant minus the trunk and the extra set of legs, yes.
Like a MILF? Oh hell no people.
But every time you start feeling like a giant wrapped around a bowling ball, remember the pregnancy fetishists.
You know, the guys who think you're one swelling mound of sexiness only when you have, um, a swelling mound in front of you.
Where does one find one of these men?
Surprisingly, everywhere. I worked with a guy who was obsessed with the Dixie Chicks' Natalie Maines during the nine months when she carried son Jackson.
Otherwise, he had no use for her.
And the Internet abounds with guys looking for pictures of preggos nekkid (link is SFW) and clothed. There are guys who like to dress up like a pregnant woman and guys who just want to see a big ol' belly to get off.
As a once-pregnant woman, I can't say I get it. I remember cankles. And stretchmarks. And puking.
And forget what the orgasmic birth folks tell you -- there's nothing sexy about poop and blood on the delivery table.
Not to mention the big one ... another man mostly likely got her pregnant. Which means you're fetishizing the product of another couple's unions.
Although, come to think of it, that's what porn is all about.
Any way you look at it ladies, it's always nice to know someone finds us dead sexy even when we feel like dead weight.
Do you feel sexy?
Image via 3Neus/Flickr