For as long as I can remember I knew that when I had a baby I wouldn't breastfeed. It's just something that would be very uncomfortable for me. I knew that I would take a lot of heat for this, but people always say, "Happy mommy = happy baby."
When I had my first child, I fed her formula and I think it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. Now that I'm pregnant with my second, I'm excited to not breastfeed AND I'm excited that I have no anxiety about it whatsoever.
It really is shocking how many people pressure women to breastfeed. People act as if it's cruel and selfish to give your baby formula.
There's little discussion about the fact most people my age weren't breastfed and don't seem to have any problems with allergies, immunity, or mother bonding. Also, few mention how this completely keeps the fathers from sharing in responsibilities of taking care of the baby. Also, it keeps women at home longer, keeps them away from their "normal" life, and it's much more difficult to measure how much food your baby is getting. Many women find it very difficult to breastfeed. It doesn't come naturally to them. It adds an added stress to the most stressful time in life.
I believe there are many women who don't actually want to breastfeed, but are pressured by peers and society to do so. Think about it. Are adopted children less loved by their mothers because they cannot breastfeed? What about fathers? I feel perfectly bonded to my daughter. And, my husband does as well. In fact, by sharing in her feedings when she was a newborn, our family became closer as a unit. She is also just as healthy as her breastfed friends.
It's such a relief to not have to worry about what others think of me this time. I know what works for me and my family and I hope other people will figure this out for themselves as well and not let others decide for them.
Image via Nerissa's Ring/Flickr
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Comments 365
Your whole post is kind of sad, but I'll just point out a couple of things here:
It is selfish, by definition, to give your child inferior food regardless of the health risks associated with that food just because YOU have some weird hang up about feeding your child the way nature/God (take your pick) intended.
It "completely keeps the fathers from sharing in responsibilities of taking care of the baby?!" I call BS on that one, too. My husband changed diapers, gave baths, rocked baby to sleep, etc. etc. Feeding is only one of the ENDLESS responsibilities that comes with parenthood. There is no shortage of ways the father can bond and help out with baby.
Breastfeeding SHOULDN'T keep women home and from having a normal life. It's only that many are afraid of being harassed by idiots if they venture out into public and have to feed their child, so they stay home. Besides, after having a baby (breast or bottle-fed) what is a "normal life?" You're not getting the carefree life of the childless adult back, regardless of how you feed your kid. Or do you really just mean that breastfeeding keeps the woman WITH THE BABY longer? Like that's a bad thing or something.
So glad that artificially feeding your babies milk from another animal when your body makes the perfect food for them is what works best for YOU! After all, motherhood is ALL ABOUT YOU! You are pathetic and selfish. That's the nicest comment I can come up with after reading this.
"Excited?" Really? That's very wise of you to say.
I guess if that's what gives you your jollies, then have at it.
Any reasoning or conversation about this is gonna go down the toilet, so I won't even get into trying to persuade you otherwise.
But what else was this post for? It just seems like a "nana-nana boo-boo" post just to get people riled up over a played-out topic. Why don't you PROVIDE factual information that supports your cause? And how can you claim that your family unit is CLOSER if you never even tried to breastfeed? You have no logical comparison.
It makes me terribly sad to see a mother that is comfortable (and even excited!) about not giving their baby the best possible start in life, just because she thinks it might make HER uncomfortable. To see a mother so excited because she feels like she won't be "tied down" or "forced to stay at home" with an infant seriously blows my mind. Even as a young mom at the age of 20, I knew that my biggest responsibility and goal was not to please MYSELF or worry about what I wanted, but how to raise a healthy and happy baby. FACT told me that feeding him as nature intended was the way to go, and I will never regret it. Yes, it was uncomfortable for me, I will not lie, I had no clue what I was doing at all! I still had that voice inside me telling me it was the best thing for my son though, and I am so glad I listened to it. I really really hope you have a change of heart.
bravo to her for doing what she feels is best. why should she have to do something that she feels totally uncomfortable with? if she did it out of guilt then she would only end up resenting the baby for it...not good. why try to guilt trip her? we all know the benefits of breastfeeding and if people choose not to BF, then that is their call. just because you feed your children formula doesnt mean that they are going to have cancer or diabetes!! i dont feel that people need to be raked over the coals b/c they chose not to BF. she has as much right to write about not BF'ing as others have to write about BF'ing. i am pro-BFing, but am tired of people getting so upset about what others decide to feed their children. bashing them isnt going to get them to change their mind.
Danielle, breastfeeding doesn't prevent people from getting diseases but formula feeding is proven over and over to increase the risk of MANY things, from leukemia and irritable bowel syndrome to even SIDS... which I'd say is a pretty significant risk to poo-poo because "you don't want to."
There's a reason formula is considered the fourth thing to feed your child. It is intended as a medication for use when your body doesn't function correctly. It is not intended to replace a natural body function. That'd be like deciding you're rather live on junk food and take vitamins -- you'll survive, but it's not comparable to eating a healthy diet.
Seriously?? CM should be embarrassed to pseudo"publish" this. Not feeling ashamed is one thing - to be proud NOT to breastfeed is IDOITIC no matter how you spin it.
It's a big old cliche now, I'm sure but breast is best. Own your guilt and move the hell on.
well said jennifer and danielle!