My Gay, Male Friend Wants to Attend My Labor & Delivery

Annie Krasnow

I've known him for 10 years. He's an uncle to my 3-year-old daughter. He's one of my best friends in the whole world and he's part of my family. My gay, male friend asked me if he could attend the impending birth of my son.

Part of me wants to say, "Of course!" and open my legs right up. But the other half thinks I'm not really sure I want him to see me so vulnerable and so literally exposed. That's a whole lot of vageen for someone to see who is not my husband.

I actually had a really fun birth experience with my daughter. My husband and I found the whole thing so fascinating and we laughed -- a lot. It was great. It's such an amazing thing to experience, I wouldn't want to stop someone from being able to have that, too. My friend isn't planning on getting anyone pregnant and I'm pretty much it for potential birth invites.

My husband is all for it. He thinks it will be fun. If he had his way, he'd have a zoom lens videotaping the entire event. THAT is not an option.

My friend has made it very clear that he will not be insulted in any way if I decide not to have him there. I don't feel any pressure from him whatsoever. What's bugging me is that I'm nervous I won't be able to be 100 percent comfortable with him in the room. What if I poop? What if, even if I instruct him to keep his eyes up, he can't help but look down -- and down gets really scary when there's a head coming through?

What I'm most nervous of, though, is that if I say no, I'll regret it. I'm scared that I'll have taken away the chance for him to have a unique bond with my son. I'll have pulled a once in a lifetime experience that will stay with him and my family forever.

What would you do?

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