I have been flamed here for admitting that I don't see motherhood as a constant stream of wine, roses, and spa treatments, but Bethenny Frankel did all moms like me a favor this week when she admitted that she doesn't miss pregnancy.
"I'm just happy I'm not pregnant now!" Frankel, 39, told UsMagazine.com at a recent appearance in the Hamptons. "I'm so lucky to have a beautiful, healthy baby."
I say, thank you Bethenny. Why? Because I am so tired of the whole "I must pretend I'm happy with everything to do with motherhood, including stretch marks and insomnia, lest others call me a bad mom" attitude that's so pervasive in the mommy blog world.
Guess what? It's possible to adore your babies and want three and still be able to admit that it's hard, like anything else that's worthy in this world.
If you loved pregnancy, I'm happy for you. In fact, I'm probably jealous of you. There are many things to love. After all, what is cooler than feeling the baby move inside you and the incredible excitement of growing another human?
I loved my ultrasounds and I loved the hopefulness of it all. But overall? I did not enjoy pregnancy.
I did not enjoy the insomnia that came at the end or the 50 pounds I put on each time. I did not enjoy the last month in the summer heat when I could barely play with my toddler or the fact that I vomited the first three months. I did not like watching my hard-won body stretch and morph without ever knowing if it would go back while my partner had no physical changes at all. And I did not like the uncertainty at the end when I could not plan my labor because I had no idea when it would begin. I am Type-A like this.
And guess what? I don't think any of this makes me a bad mom. I still love my kids. We have ups and downs and good days and bad days, but overall, they're my world and I make all my decisions around them. I think it's ridiculous that women who tell their truths have to feel defensive about that, so I won't.
The day after labor, I skipped, jumped, and danced merrily around the hospital room with no clothing on my body. "I am not pregnant!" I shouted to my husband.
Nearly four years after that, I'm still pretty happy to not be pregnant.
Are you enjoying your pregnancy?