Pretty PushersWith my imminent hospital stay weighing heavy on my mind (and my bladder), I just ordered up a nursing nightie so my stepkids won’t have to see me wrestling with the charming standard-issue hospital gown I remember so fondly from my last visit to the maternity ward.
Actually, I do kinda love those gowns. Sure, they gape open at the back and their mint-green hue flatters nobody, but there’s, like, a stack of them, and the minute you stain one you just grab another. You can always put your robe on to waddle down the hall to the nursery.
Yet look what came up when I searched for my nursing gown: designer hospital gowns. Uh ... what? I mean, are you supposed to really wear them when you’re pushing? Won’t they get blood and ooze on them? How many do you buy, and who’s going to wash them?!
Silly. But there seems to be a demand. Here, take a look at designer hospital gowns three (more) different ways, and see what you think.
Pretty Pushers ($24 to $35 at Amazon, pictured above) are seriously cut like a cocktail dress. They have ties up the front and a low back with a flouncy godet hem; the plain version has a ruffled neckline, while the “I dream of ...” line comes in vivid colors. They are 100 percent organic cotton and made in the USA, so that’s marvelous, but I have a hard time imagining how they would work with an epidural; I can imagine my stern L&D nurses ordering me out of it and into the nice, sterile, standard-issue gown for pushing and birthing.
GowniesGownies ($30 to $50 at Amazon) are plain and traditional in shape and design, with the ties and flaps exactly where the hospital puts them. They’re 100 percent cotton and come in smaller sizes, so I suppose the main objection is that the hospital gowns are too big? Satin trim and very cute prints do make these tempting. But again: How do you wash them? And don’t you just go through tons?
Dear JohnniesDear Johnnies ($40 to $72 at DearJohnnies.com) are the super-fancy option, with the celebrity testimonials to prove it (ahem: Bethenny Frankel!). You can even have them monogrammed. But dear god, at $72 a pop, they are for someone other than me -- the rich really are different!
What do you think of designer hospital gowns? Silly or super? Do you wish you could grab a few? Do you know someone who got them? Tell us in the comments!