Billy Idol famously sang about shotgun weddings in "White Wedding" -- weddings in which the bride is pregnant -- and it seems every celebrity and their mom is having one (hi, Bethenny!), but are "shotgun weddings" really as common as they seem?
A 2007 survey from MaternityBride.com found that one in every six brides is pregnant. And this includes many celebrities like: Gwyneth Paltrow, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Amanda Peet, Jessica Alba. All were knocked up when they walked down the aisle.
Personally, I like the "first comes love" order of things.
My husband and I were married three-and-a-half years before our daughter came along and together two years before that (and friends for 15 years before that, but that is another story). Believe me, we needed that time to really get to know one another and learn who we were as a couple before we added a big belly to the mix.
On the other hand, we were very young when we started dating (23) and I've known many couples who saw no reason to get married, lived together for years, and then decided to walk down the aisle only after the EPT test had two lines. I'm not sure "marriage" would have made their relationship any stronger.
To me, the important part seems to be the length of time two people know each other before committing to a baby. Because a baby is a much larger commitment than a walk down the aisle could ever be.
Personally, if I were pregnant, I would have the baby first and then get married, but mostly because I wouldn't want a maternity wedding gown.
By the way, the couple in Billy Idol's "White Wedding" was his little sister and her husband. They enjoyed a long happy marriage, while Idol's own non-shotgun marriage ended not long after the song was released. Or at least that's what I learned on VH1's Pop Up Video.
What about the rest of you? Were you pregnant when you got married?
Image via Mel B./Flickr
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Comments 11
I'm old-fashioned and wanted to be married before pregnancy -- and was for five years. But I don't care what anyone else does. I agree that it usually comes down to how long you've known each other over the quality of that piece of paper. I've seen marriages crumble and long relationships without the paper stay strong.
I was married before I got pregnant and 2 weeks after getting married we found out we were expecting.
I believe in marriage first! True love waits. (I know that will get some people roused up!...lol)
I got married when I was pregnant with my first child, just a few months before he was born, but we had already talked about getting married before I became pregnant with him. We didn't plan a big wedding, didn't even tell anyone. One day at dinner we asked each other if that's what we wanted at that time, and So that's what we did, drove ourselves all night long to Reno right after dinner. :) That was 8 years ago, now we have 4 kiddos
I loved my maternity wedding gown -- in fact I've got a post coming up about it (and others) later today. So you can take a look at all us little hooers and tut-tut your heart away! ;)
I got married when I was pregnant - 4 months pregnant with twins. I managed to get married just before I really started showing so I was able to wear a non-maternity gown but we weren't hiding anything, everyone knew the deal. We having been married 5 years this August and now have 3 little boys running around here. (And DONE - 3 is plenty :)
It hasn't been the easiest thing in the world to deal with and sometimes I wish I had done things differently. If I ever find myself not married, I won't ever do it again, you don't have to be married to be committed and I don't ever want to be tied to someone via the GOVERNMENT ever again. The tax breaks are nice, but other than that, for me, it is just not my thing, I am very independent and I feel trapped half the time, but I love my boys (and the DH too) and I feel good that I gave them that traditional foundation at least regardless of what happens down the road.
I was 5 months pregnant when I got married, I'd had such horrible morning sickness that I'd actually lost 16lbs before my wedding and wore a regular gown. When people see the pictures they don't believe I was pregant, it's not till they know the date of my wedding and the date of my daughters birth that they actually believe it.
I was married for 4 years before baby came along. I am glad that my husband and I got to know each other well before pregnancy. It was a rough pregnancy, and I needed his help more than I ever thought I would have.
My little brother had a shotgun wedding last year. He literally knew her 1 month before she got pregnant and married her when she was 3 months pregnant. Let's just say that things are not so peaceful in that household.
My circumstances or my brother's circumstances aren't the case for everyone, but I firmly think that understanding, trusting and knowing someone is vital to a healthy happy family. For some couples, getting to that level doesn't take long, or for others, they will have been with a person for decades and still not be atthat level.
I was married for almost 7 years before I got pregnant with my daughter. That was not by design however. We actually didn't expect to have children at all. I've never understood why we look to the government to make a relationship credible. That's all that piece of paper is. It's not like they send a copy to God by fed-ex. I've known people who got married for no other reason than being pregnant. Forced by convention to do the "right thing". It turned out horribly for all concerned. The child most of all.
There will always be judgments from some, but I think much of the stigma has been lost.