When Britney Spears had her children 11 months apart, the gossip mongers had a field day, but other celebrities soon followed suit with their own back-to-back pregnancies.
Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen's little girls are 13 months apart, Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves' babies are 18 months apart, and Gwen Stefani's boys, Zuma and Kingston, are about 2 years apart.
It seems all the rage to have babies close together and in my real life, I see it all the time -- mothers pushing double strollers or sliding down the slide with a toddler on their lap while an infant sleeps in their sling.
As someone who jumped on this trend (by accident) with babies spaced 18 months apart, it does beg the question: How close is too close?
A study in the Journal of the American Medical Association suggests that pregnancies less than 18 months apart leave the second pregnancy at risk for low birth weight and premature birth. The theory is that after the first pregnancy, a woman's body is too depleted to support the next one, so she goes into it at a deficit.
Other studies have said different things, some saying four years is the ideal spacing because it allows the most time alone with the parents and a healthy sense of self-esteem before a baby comes along and displaces the first, while others insist that one year is best because children never had time to get used to being alone.
I was eight years apart from my only sibling and I hated it. It was like being an only child with none of the perks and then a little baby came along who was much cuter than me and couldn't play Monopoly or Candy Land with me. No fun (I am still bitter).
I say it's all individual, dependent on the kids and dependent on the parents. My children adore one another and watching them play is one of the great joys of motherhood. When they're getting along and we're all snuggled in bed, I can't imagine having waited. Of course, this often comes on the heels of a day where they have hit each other, refused to walk, and had several accidents each. There are trade-offs to any distance and what is right for me may not be right for you.
So, how about you? What is your ideal baby spacing?
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Comments (9)
I think it's very individual -- the kids' personalities play a major role in what's the perfect "space."
My kids are 3 months apart and that is perfect. Actually I think twins would be really fun too. They are able to do everything together. If I were having more kids, I think I'd give a couple years' space between 2 and 3 but then have 3 & 4 be close - assuming God was on board, of course.
I was 6 when my brother was born and also hated it! My kids are 5 years apart and so far things are great! DD is 6 and loves her little bro to pieces
I spaced my kids apart 18 YEARS almost to the day. It worked out well for me.
My first 3 kids are each a year apart. There is 15 months between #1 and #2 and 13 months between #2 and #3 and I wouldn't change it for the world.
I blew the 2nd is going to be smaller theory out the window. My first was 7lbs 1oz. My son, born 15 months and a few days later, was a whopping 9lbs 3oz (and now I was not diabetic and they checked his sugar at birth...he's just a big kid).
I've also done a bigger spacing. There are 3 1/2 years between #3 and #4 and there will be 4 years between #4 and #5 (who is due to arrive by c-section in 3 weeks).
I feel for my youngest. She's 4 and always alone while her older brother and sisters all have the same friends and hang out together and can do a lot more than she can (they are 7 1/2, 8 1/2 and turning 10 in a few days). During the school year she is home alone and bored out of her mind with no one to play with. She was constantly asking when they were coming home. My older 3 have been good friends since they were babies and do almost everything together (not that they don't fight...lately it's all the time it seems, lol).
It wasn't easy but I wouldn't do it different.
I wanted to have my two little ones close together. I would have loved it if I could have had them as close together as Brittney Spears had her boys but mine are 16 months apart and i absolutely love it! They will go to school together, they already play together and I am hoping that they will grow even closer as time goes by.
I had planned on trying to get pregnant around my daughters 2nd b-day so they would be around 3 years apart but we weren't quite ready. Now she will be 3 1/2 when #2 is born and I think that's perfect! She's potty trained, can dress herself and is very independent so I won't feel like I am taking any of that time away from her. I would NOT want 2 "babies" at the same time!
I was 8 when my sister Valerie was born, 14 when Lauren was born, and 15 when Audrey was born. Lauren and Audrey were raised separately from me, and they fight like crazy. I think they don't get along because my mom has set up a competition in between the two of them-- "Lauren is pretty and Audrey is ugly", "Lauren is bad and Audrey is good". My mom has mental health issues. As far as me and Valerie goes. . . I love her, but she's more like a cousin than a sister. Right now I am married with children, and she is still in high school and is just learning how to drive. We have always been in two different places, you know? Because I have always wanted that close sibling relationship for myself, I thought now we be an okay time to be pregnant. My son Carter will be 2 1/2 when the new baby is born. I feel that I gave my body time to recover, and I hope that they are close enough in age to enjoy playing together in a couple of years.
My daughter will be 2 a week before my due date. My brother was 5 years younger than I was and I really resented losing the only child status. I am glad that my first 2 are closer for my oldest's sake. Although if we decide to have another one I am looking for a much longer spacing maybe 5 years.