The Pregnant Life: Ohm, Dammit! OHM!

Amy Keyishian

Mom-Baby Yoga
Downward dog for two
Well, I made it back to prenatal yoga. I'd really love to be able to say it does no good, because it seems like it wouldn't. It's not like I'm burning quantifiable calories on a treadmill. It's breathing and stretching, for gosh's sake.

But my rock-star teacher, who earns raves from students (pregnant and not) all over the city, good-humoredly cajoled me into various pretzel shapes, and lo and behold: My fatigue lifted, my mood improved, and just now, I got out of bed without making Grandma noises. Damn you, yoga! I wish I knew how to quit you!

It's just so hard to find the time and the money for something like prenatal yoga. I work a lot. My hours are flexible, but it can be hard to blow that hole in the middle of the day. On the other hand, if the yoga makes it so I don't have to lie down and nap -- that's the same sized hole.

Jane also has a great deal during the week: Her prenatal classes are right after mommy-and-baby classes, so if you come early and help out by holding infants while their poor, aching moms pretzel themselves back into shape, you get a free prenatal class. How cool is that? Of course, it means the yoga-hole has to be three hours wide. It's complex, this pregnancy business!

Well, anyway. I've been complaining too much lately. It's true that I don't seem all that good at being pregnant. When we went around the room saying our names, what week we were, and what issues we'd like to work on, everyone sounded so cheery -- one woman even announced that since her "hemorrhoid-ectomy," she was feeling like a million bucks (at 30 weeks!). I was the only one who said, "I feel awful!" and detailed my fatigue, aches, and pains in a totally embarrassing outburst. It's not enough that I'm a yoga dork, I have to be a pregnancy wimp too?

At least I made people laugh. Jane described how much extra blood is coursing through our bodies, which is why we get winded just making a sandwich. "It's true!" I said. "I can feel my pulse right now, just sitting here. I feel like a huge overripe mango, like I'm going to split open and juice is going to run all over the kitchen table. If you stuck a pin in me right now, I'd fly around the room squirting blood everywhere."

I don't think you're supposed to go into yoga class hoping for a laugh. Then again, there's such a thing as laughter yoga, so why not? I just hope I didn't gross anyone out. I know how easy it is to get grossed out when you're feeling just plain gross.

Sweetness: At the end of class, I was wistfully thinking how great it would be if Penelope came running in just as I was feeling peaceful and recharged. And then she did! My stepson Max thought it'd be funny to have her come get me ... she was a hit, of course, though I forgot to have her show off her own downward dog. What a great moment! 

Anyway, this is a big week! I enter Week 24, my toddler has her 18-month checkup, and I have both an ultrasound and an OB appointment. So there'll be plenty to talk about … stay tuned.

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