Pregnancy Calendar Week 10 -- Shopping for a Midwife

Cynthia Dermody
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baby cupcakesMargaret* is expecting her first baby November 5, and is sharing her experience each week for the next nine months.

Week 10

I'm moving toward second trimester bliss! I have less sensitivity to consuming animal products; chicken and eggs are on the permanent do-not-have list. For the last 6 weeks, eating was a bit of a challenge. Fortunately, although I had nausea and dizziness, I was not losing my meals.

Sleep and Smells

I have a few remaining first trimester symptoms. Fatigue sets in without warning. I get a good night's sleep, but I'm not really a nap person. Instead, I put my feet up and put on a weighted eye mask with lavender. It really helps, especially after lunch and in the early evening. As my husband says, my superhero power sense of smell is in effect.

Through my church, we practice sensitivity with scents. The rest of the world is overwhelming. The amount of perfume, deodorant, foods and pollutions is incredible. I work through it as best as I can, and speak up if I'm bothered by perfume or some fixable overpowering scent. Most people are nice, and some are not. Regardless, it is good to speak up.

Formulating a Birth Plan

Communicating is key for me this week. I feel like protocols are good guidelines for standards of care; however, when the protocol does the woman and her unborn child a disservice, I strongly object.

I met with a midwife at the OB/GYN practice I have used. The office now has two midwives. Unfortunately, rather than have their own rotation pool, all of the OBs rotate. And, I would need to deliver in the hospital. I know that I want a midwife to deliver our child.

We also investigated a birth center. It is nice, and the midwife is well-known midwife internationally. The "homey" feel of the birth center is out of my comfort zone, in terms of the energy. As a result, I want to give birth at home with a midwife. Our home is comfortable. It is accessible to a major highway for easy transfer to the hospital if I need it. My politics about home-birthing is minimal. I know that my dream of giving birth began in our home, long before I was pregnant. For me, I know that giving birth at home is safer, cleaner, and economical, not to mention comfortable and familiar.

My goal this week is to find a midwife who has privileges or who has a OB back-up at the hospital we like. I also need to communicate with my husband about his concerns. So many of us are fed misinformation to scare us into thinking that hospitals are better than home birth. The peer-reviewed literature does not support this supposition; in fact, it is the opposite. I hope we can be empowered by choosing this option together. Plus, my husband likes standing apart from the crowd.

The Nursery

Preparing for our child is enjoyable. We have a color scheme for the bedroom, and have begun to put the call out to friends who have children. We'd like to be as environmentally friendly as possible. Clothes, toys, and related items that folks have used are great alternatives to buying all new items. Plus, it creates a chain of community, one child to the next.

Also, looking at the major child/baby chains has been very disappointing. My aesthetic is contemporary, minimal marketing (i.e. not brands please!), and practical -- regardless of our child's gender. Gendering children in overbearing ways perpetuates difference. Sure, it is important for socialization and identifying behaviors. And, what we know culturally about gender and lifestyle are guidelines not rules; children are born on a spectrum.

I am so proud that our country is moving forward with fair and equal ideas about this lovely spectrum. We are looking forward to enjoying one another during this time. As we prepare for baby, we lovingly attend to our marriage. Our priority is our marriage -- first. Our children will grow strong from our solid foundation. Care, concern and balance are our goals as I carry our child.

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How do you make sure your pregnancy does not overshadow your relationship?

 

Previous weeks:

Week 9 (Insomnia and strange dreams)

Week 8 (Spotting)

Week 7 (Unsolicited Advice)

Week 6 -- Meet the Mom

Want more birth stories? Click our previous calendars:

Kim's Twin Pregnancy

Brittany's First Baby

 

*Name has been changed to protect privacy

 

Image via theinvinciblemom/ Flickr

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