Pimp My Ultrasound
Pimp My Ultrasound

Pregnant? Got an iPhone? I'll leave it to you to sort out whether you'd prefer to do your week-by-week tracking with What To Expect or Baby Bump.

The number of apps just to choose baby names is overwhelming (Irish edition! Indian names!), and wow, there are quite a few gender predictors. (Hi, ultrasound?!) There are food guides galore. But what have I spent the evening obsessing over? The crazypants apps. My phone is now full of them.

 

Pimp My Ultrasound (Free)

Am I the worst mom in the world or what? I find this app hilarious. It's totally intuitive; I was shrinking, tilting, and applying little hats and sunglasses within moments of opening it. I am actually too superstitious to play dress-up with the actual baby inside me, but I am having a field day with my little pre-term Penelope.

M Pregnancy – For Men With Pregnant Women (2.99)
We live in a world where Everybody Loves Raymond was a number-one show for like ninety years. Everyone thinks men are total morons. Never mind that my husband knows more about my uterus than I do, I still think this app is funny. It measures the weeks of your pregnancy as a countdown to his last free day; it measures the size of the fetus w/r/t a beer bottle; and the advice is total Man Show "handle her mood swings." If you are not actually married to a Neanderthal, you'll get a kick out of this Maxim-style app.

Baby Builder
Baby BuilderBabyBuilder (Free or $2.99)
There's more than one "see what your baby would look like" apps. Some create an illustration based on general traits. Others take two pictures and frighten you with a horrible mashup. This one claims to use sophisticated facial mapping technology. Also? The baby poops when you touch its stomach. So, whaddaya think? Insane, right? My husband has a huge forehead!

Anne Geddes (Free)
Are you as creeped out by Anne Geddes babies as I am? Send e-cards, view a small gallery, watch videos (who? Who is sitting around watching videos of Anne Geddes on Entertainment Tonight on her phone?!), post to Facebook, read her blog – if you're a fan of weird little sleeping babies, this is certainly the app for you.

Pregnancy and Birth Affirmations ($2.99)
I have saved the best for last. This app is AWESOME. The screen shots alone sent me into total bliss. "I am a strong and capable woman. Surrounded by RAINBOWS!" "I feel serene and experience a deep intimacy with my own body and spirit. Also, RAINBOWS!" Seriously, I wish this app were a dollar. I would have sprung for it. Who can't use a little affirmation? And … you-know-whats? (Please note: Also available for peace and tranquility, fertility, love and relationship, and health and fitness.) (And rainbows.)