This Mom 'Came Out' as Straight & the Internet Is Dragging Her for It
Being a parent means constantly having to navigate through situations that you have very little idea of how to handle. After finding herself in an eye-opening conversation about sexuality with her young son, one mom used the opportunity to make a video "coming out" as a straight woman. While some found the video inspiring, many on the Internet have been dragging her for her admission.
Mom and blogger Kristina Kuzmic began her viral video with an anecdote about her son.
According to Kuzmic, the 10-year-old sat her down to confess something that had been weighing on his mind. "'Mom I've been doing a lot of thinking,'" she recalls him saying. "'And I'm ready to come out of the closet. I am straight.'"
The mom admitted that she found the situation funny at first, before she realized she could use it as a teaching moment. "He knows that when someone's gay they come out of the closet, and they usually announce it first to the people closest to them. So he figured the same rule applied to straight people."
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Kuzmic says she gave her son a hug and told him how "honored" she was that she was the first person he told. "I thanked him for opening my eyes to the type of world I want to live in," she said. "A world where every kid plays by the same rules and we don't assume anything." While it sounds nice on the surface, it's what Kuzmic did next that has everyone talking.
While they didn't begrudge her son his sweet moment, many thought that Kuzmic should have handled the situation differently.
"It would have been a great opportunity to talk to your son about why LGBT people stay 'in the closet,'" said one person.
For those whose identities stray from straight and cis-gendered, the risk of coming out can be incredibly high. Statistics show that about 5 percent of Americans identify as LGBTQ. Within that number, studies have shown that 39 percent of LGBTQ Americans have been rejected by friends or family members. In the same vein, 58 percent admitted to being subjected to targeted slurs and jokes, while 20 percent said they had been physically attacked because of their sexual or gender identity. A world where "every kid plays by the same rules" sounds lovely, but it's not a reality for everyone in the LGBTQ community, and many think Kuzmic could have done more to explain why coming out is so monumental for many people.
While most acknowledged that Kuzmic's intentions were good, they felt that she missed the mark.
"Why bother making a grand gesture of something that doesn't even seem like a problem?" many wondered. Even the social disparities between LGBT youth and their peers is staggering. According to the Human Rights Campaign, 26 percent of LGBT youth in the United States say their biggest problems are lack of acceptance from family, bullying, and an outright fear of being "out." Meanwhile, 22 percent of non-LGBT youth say their biggest problems stem from tests and bad grades.
And some applauded her for teaching her son the "true" meaning of equality.
While I definitely understand where Kuzmic was coming from in her video, it misses the mark. In coming out, people in the LGBT community risk rejection, scorn, and even physical violence. Often, LGBT kids and young adults spend years working up the courage to do it and live in fear of how others will react.
No one blames a 10-year-old for not having a firm grasp on complex social issues yet, but Kuzmic's "coming out" feels completely out of touch. While it's clear that she wasn't trying to be malicious or hurtful, it is important that, in trying to foster true equality, we don't lose touch with reality. And the reality is that, while cute for a child, coming out of the closet as a straight person doesn't carry nearly the same weight or have the same painful history as it does for LGBTQ people.