My Husband & I Are Finally Voting the Same Way -- Since Love Trumps Hate

couple holding hands

I started dating my husband in college, and I learned pretty early on that our politics didn't exactly jibe. I'm a Democrat and have always thought pretty liberally. He's a registered Republican. Over the years (we've been married for 13), we've learned to agree to disagree in the politics arena. State and local politics really aren't a point of contention with us -- we're both pretty open-minded there -- but we've never agreed on a presidential candidate.


I care about climate change, reproductive rights, and common sense gun laws. He is former military and more conservative when it comes to foreign policy and the economy. These issues tend to sway our presidential votes. And that can create palpable tension at home. I mean, even if you're not discussing politics, a political party feels almost like a sports team you're rooting for -- especially during election season. It's discouraging to feel as if you're on different teams when in marriage, you basically are each other's team.

That is, until this year. This year, we're on the same team at home and in the voting booth.

The difference this year is, of course, Donald Trump.

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My husband can't stand Trump's xenophobic and racist words and views. He feels a Trump presidency would be a "disaster" (to use a Donald word). At least Hillary Clinton knows how to work with conservatives; my husband feels like he knows what we would get with her in office. Donald Trump is really a loose cannon.

He still doesn't love Hillary -- he has some issues with her, which include disagreeing with some military policies and decisions she and Bill have supported -- but he feels as if voting for anyone but her gives Trump an opportunity to win this election. And that's not something he wants to risk at all.

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He also believes it's about time we watch a woman become president of the United States. (But he reminds me that this is not why he's voting for her ...)

When it comes down to it, the politics that are bubbling to the surface this election -- because of Trump's emphasis on them -- are showing us that despite our differences in some political issues, we still share the same important values.

And so while it makes my home feel more peaceful -- we can vent together about how much we don't like Trump instead of holding our tongues -- it also reaffirms to me that no matter all the little things we disagree on in our relationship, the big things are what matters. And we always agree on the big things.

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This year, the political issues that are making us decide to vote for the same candidate represent the values we hold together as a couple and as parents. We respect other countries, cultures, and religions. We believe diversity is important. And we want our kids to understand that if everyone is given the same opportunities, it only makes us all greater. Holding others back is not going to help anyone succeed. We're proud of our country for its diversity, for the rights we hold dear, for our friends' rights -- no matter how they look, who they love, what religion they practice, or where they were born.

We teach our kids that kindness matters and not to say insulting words that belittle people, and that it's our job to take care of our Earth so it is preserved for future generations.

This election has reminded me that while my husband and I might not always be on the same team in politics, we're on the same team in life. And our votes this year will show it. Instead of canceling each other out this year, we're casting two votes for Hillary Clinton. It feels pretty damn good.



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