Mom Blogger Says Wives Should Be Dutiful & This Feminist Thinks That's Just Fine

Lori Alexander is a lady with very strong opinions about a woman's place, and she uses her blog, Always Learning, to discuss them at length. Namely, she writes that women need to know their role, which is to stay home, have babies, and obey their husbands. And as a feminist, I want Lori the Bible mom to know that I completely support her. 


Now, I'll admit it took me a while to get there. Alexander's words were meant to spark outrage in bra-burning, girl power advocates like me.

In her blog post titled "My Post Went Viral" (I said she was a Bible mom, not a creative writer), she explains what she was thinking when she created (in green block letters) that Facebook post above, which included the words:  

Do you 'expect' your husband to help w/ household chores? If you do, you won't have a happy marriage b/c expectations destroy relationships.

I know. I'll wait for a sec while you collect the exploded pieces of your head.

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She goes on to extol the virtues of full-time mothers and how feminism kills babies and loads of other stuff that casts anyone who isn't exactly like her as Satanists. Lori says she loves all the hateful comments her post attracted because the more you're hated by people, the more God is totally impressed. I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea.

But the more I started thinking about it, the more I realized being a feminist means expanding the definition of what being a woman means in our society. To Lori it means being a super dutiful Stepford Jesus wife. And you know what? Good for her. I hope she keeps on being the best darn housekeeper and obedient wife she can be. Go girl.

Feminism has room for Lori, too.

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Feminists aren't pro-abortion, they're pro-choice. That means if you want to be like Lori, who thinks having lots and lots of babies is the way to go, you can do totally do that. If you want to have zero babies and run an empire like Oprah, that's cool, too. Feminists are willing, and should be able, to welcome every woman into the fold. And I, for one, am going to start with Lori.

I'm never going to convince her that birth control and access to safe and legal abortions have not caused "58 million babies to be slaughtered in the womb." Lori is never going to understand that feminism isn't the cause of all the ills of the world, so I'm not even going to go there.

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I'm not going to try, for instance, to explain to her that her right to drive, bank, vote, even learn to read and blog, are the byproducts of the work of feminists. I'm not going to try to introduce her to all the wonderful families out there with dads who stay home, moms who work, and even two mommies who work and have a manny who comes in during the day.

That would be a waste of time.

Some families, like Lori's, are traditional and wonderful. Others are totally modern and just as wonderful. The difference between me and Lori is that I have the ability to recognize that just because people aren't like me, or don't believe in the same things I do, doesn't mean they're bad or evil.

Maybe it's just that change is scarier for some people than others. Lori throws around phrases like "It was just the way it was and always had been." Or this doozy:

Was it from the Lord that caused women to leave their homes in pursuit of higher education and careers thus leaving their homes and children in a mass exodus or the enemy of their souls?

No, Lori. Some ladies have to work to make money to feed all those babies. Other ladies are just smart and driven and want to compete and contribute in a particular career. Some women just like it outside the house better. It's okay. It's all going to be okay. Deep breaths.

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I'm a feminist and I think however you choose to be as a woman is absolutely perfect. And no matter how much you hate us, Lori, we'll always have a place for you among us.

And wine. I think you need a nice, big glass of wine.


Image via Nicola Albertini/Flickr

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