If You Like Porn We Know Who You're Picking for President

Patrons of the adult film industry have spoken, and they have decided who they want to see elected as president this November. Popular website PornHub conducted a survey amongst its viewers, and it looks like Bernie Sanders is finishing first, and Donald Trump is coming up from behind as a close second.

Advertisement

You know, because we all needed to know that if the presidential election was decided by porn viewers, it would be a Bernie-Trump showdown. I just really hope that no one got confused when casting their Internet vote and picked who they'd like to see in a porno instead. Because gross.

Anyway, PornHub broke it down into Republicans and Democrats, and then did an overall comparison.

More from The Stir: Donald Trump Has Just Been Talking About His Penis This Entire Time

First up was Bernie Sanders versus Hillary Clinton, and he totally trounced her with 73.4 percent of the vote to her 26.6 percent. That means that for every four porn viewers, three would choose Sanders to lead the free world, while only one would choose Clinton. Maybe she reminds them of their mom knocking on the door during their teenage years. Who knows?

When it comes to the Republicans, Trump got nearly two-thirds of the vote with 60.5 percent, with Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz coming in almost at a tie for second place at 19.9 percent and 19.6 percent, respectively. 

But what would happen if all these candidates were running in the general election?

Bernie Sanders would win in a landslide with 31.1 percent of the total vote, and Trump would trail with 19.6 percent. Clinton would only get 11.2 percent, Rubio would get 6.4 percent, and poor Ted Cruz comes in last place with 6.3 percent. Of course my favorite option on the general election survey is "None," which got 25.4 percent of the vote -- almost enough to beat Bernie!

More from The Stir: Donald Trump or 'House of Cards' Frank Underwood: Who Said It?

Of course this is completely ridiculous, and I'm surprised that individuals looking for online porn even took the time to click. Then again, if they had to in order to get through to the naked ladies, there's a good chance this survey is absolutely random. 

Either way, I'm just glad that presidential elections are decided by more Americans than just the ones who frequent online porn sites.

 

Images via Splash News

Read More >