That's It -- I'm Voting for Donald Trump (to Make America Great) (Again)

It looks like Donald J. Trump may have an even greater chance of becoming the Republican's nomination for president of the United States. On Super Tuesday, Donald J. Trump won seven of the ten states, and Captain Howdy (aka Ted Cruz) won three. At first I was afraid (I was petrified), but after considering what sort of president Donald J. Trump would be, I came up with some really great (GREAT!) reasons to vote for him. 

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Here's why I believe The Donald can -- and will -- Make America Great Again. 

1: We Share the Same Crucial Beliefs

Speak it, The Donald. 

 

2: He Loves Women.  

Trump has said, on numerous occasions, "I will be so good to women. I cherish women. I will work hard to protect women." There you have it. He loves women.

 

3: We Both Love Dank Memes 

Loooooooool. I also love how he calls Thirsty Rubio "Little Marco."

 

4: WE BOTH LOVE CAPS LOCK 

HE TYPES IN CAPS LOCK AND CAMPAIGNS IN ALL CAPS. EVERYONE KNOWS CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL. 

More From The Stir: 5 Reasons Ted Cruz Is Way Scarier Than Donald Trump

 

5: He Gets How Evil My Vice of Choice Is 

I just quit the DC for the 976th time again today. Donald realizes it's Satan juice. 

 

 6: We Both Know That Children Are Not Horsies 

I mean, I don't agree with him about this vaccination thing because I'm hella pro-vaccine -- but I for sure agree kids are not horses. 

 

7: He Will Make America Not Only Great but Glamorous (Again) 

This is the room, located in his Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Florida, where Donald J. Trump gave his press conference last night. Would you look at that s**t? It's like a Marie Antoinette house or something. This is how America will look when Trump is our president. He will probably gold gild the entire White House. That wall he always talks about building? I bet the bricks will have real diamonds in them. I don't know about you, but if we have a wall to keep those sneaky people from sneaking across our borders, it's extremely important to me that it be the most beautiful, classiest wall ever constructed. 

 

 8: He Is Friends With Lil Jon 

 

Lil Jon appeared on Celebrity Apprentice, and Rolling Stone asked Lil Jon what he felt about Donald Trump running for president

Depends who's running. He gets a lot of flak, but that's just because he speaks his mind. He's a really good guy deep down.

Lil Jon is one of the best of all time.  He's an amazingly talented rapper and producer. He's the King of Crunk. He even has a winery. I do, however, wish he would let Trump use one of his jams for his campaign trail, especially the song about testicles

 

9: A Lot of Important People Have Endorsed Him 

 

Even though they look freakin' terrified after doing so. And may possibly have Stockholm Syndrome. And may possibly be signaling for help using just their eyes. 

So there you have it. Because these are good reasons to vote for a candidate, right? RIGHT?! Let's all make America great again or something something and America! 

 

 

Images via Splash news 

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