Hey Coffee Shop Owners With Lady-Hating Podcast, Here's What We Think of You

Why is all of Asheville, North Carolina, boycotting a coffee shop? Because the two owners of Waking Life Espresso were exposed as creators of a podcast, blog, and Twitter handle that recounts their sexual encounters with the women of their community in pretty darn misogynist terms. Jared Rutledge and Jacob Owens are now facing a huge, decaffeinated backlash.


It all started when a website called jaredandjacobsaid leaked quotes from Rutledge and Owens' content, which they call the "Holistic Game." For example, there's this snipped from the blog post, "A Breakdown of All My Lays."

11. K. – Business – 6/7/7 – Played

Late thirties MILF that I fucked in her basement while her kids were asleep. Slamming body for her age, and I’d never fucked a woman that old. We didn’t hang out again -- I think she was only really interested in something serious. Her exes were abusive and I think she wanted beta comfort and stability. I still see her around -- she’s single and seems to be doing well.

So nice of him to note her history with abusive men and her preference for a relationship with a "beta" (respectful) man. Anyway, there's more. So much more. (The Holistic Game blog and podcasts have been archived, and the Twitter handle is still up, if you're morbidly curious.) This is a small enough community that people are able to identify some of the "anonymous" women described in these encounters. 

More from The Stir: 12 Signs He's Not a Keeper

On Monday Rutledge and Owens apologized on the company's website and vowed to donate the shop's proceeds to a rape crisis group, Our Voice. Executive Director Angelica Wind said Our Voice was rejecting their donation, but would accept donations from individuals wanting to stand in solidarity with the organization.

Meanwhile, the backlash has hit the company's wallet. As of now, Waking Life is closed. Business support group Mountain Bizworks asked Rutledge and Owens to return a loan they intended to use for a second location. There is an online petition demanding Asheville stores remove Waking Life coffee from their shelves.

Jesse. Let's cook.

A photo posted by @wakinglifecoffee on

In their blogs, tweets, and podcasts, Rutledge and Owens make fun of heavier women and state their preference for submissiveness repeatedly. The goal appears to be to have sex with as many women as possible with no emotional entanglements or accountability until they hit their late 30s. Then they'll marry a woman in her early 20s and have kids. Sex with women equals validation of their manliness, pretty much the only source of validation.

I wonder what the women described by Rutledge and Owens would write if they detailed their encounters on their own "ladysphere" blogs? This is how we imagine they'd read.

11. K – Social – 6/7/7 – Played

Early 30s guy from coffee shop came over while the kids napped. I needed to blow off some steam over this never-ending divorce and my fave. vibrator gave out. Figured, why not? He was so eager. It was all over in 60 seconds. Got nothing out of it. Want my money back.

12. J -- Social -- 7/9/7 -- Played

Early 30s who reeked of rancid coffee grounds hit on me at a friend's party. He talked a good game so I thought he might be worth a try. Nope. No more watermelon margaritas for me.

13. A -- Business -- 8/5/7 -- Rejected by me

My boss hit on me again. So gross. He's like ten years older than I am and thinks I haven't noticed he hits on every woman who walks in here. Runs a solid coffee business so it's a dilemma.

14. S -- Business -- 9/4/7 -- Played

Met the owners of this great coffee shop. Both were super charming. But I let my guard down with one, went home with him, and he was a hair-puller. So ungentlemanly. What a disappointment!

15. W -- Social -- 10/23/7 -- Rejected

My therapist says I've got to cut off that coffee shop owner who only ever wants to hook up. I finally stood up for myself and said NO when he texted last night at 1am. Felt good.

16. K -- Business -- 11/5/7 -- Played 

Coffee shop owner I did some design work for sweet-talked me into bed. Afterwards he said he doesn't usually do "fat chicks" but that I was "fun." Never again.

17. M -- Social -- 12/9/7 -- Rejected

Have been warned against both of those Waking Life guys by half a dozen women. What's going on there?

Just a couple of good old boys having fun? Not if it involves embarrassing the women in your community. Not if people lose their jobs. Not if it puts your town in the news for an embarrassing reason. 


Image © GODONG / BSIP/BSIP/Corbis

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