​Hillary Clinton's Emails Are Soooo Much Better Than Her Texts (PHOTOS)

hillary clinton

It ain't easy being a presidential hopeful. Just ask Hillary Clinton, who's in a bit of hot water right now for using a private email account to conduct government business. Not exactly the level of transparency one would hope for from an elected official, to be sure, but on the other hand, who can blame Clinton for wanting a little virtual privacy? I mean, come on, who hasn't accidentally sent a personal email from a work email address, and vice versa? Clinton is no doubt worried about the possibility of such a snafu going public -- and can you imagine what her "sent" folder looks like? We did!


Here are a few "emails" we wouldn't be at all surprised to see if (when?) Clinton's inbox does go public:

hillary clinton

From: hillztotheyeah@clinton.me

To: bill69@clinton.me

Subject: THAT dress

So, really? Now I find out that the shadow in your official portrait hanging in the Smithsonian  is supposed to be from She Who Shall Not Be Named's BLUE DRESS?! Fix this and FIX IT NOW. Oh, and for the record, speaking of freaking blue dresses, I saw white and gold. WHITE AND GOLD!!! Also, please pick up some milk on the way home.

xo, H

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hillary clinton

From: hillztotheyeah@clinton.me

To: campaignmanager@hillaryforprez.gov

Subject: Project "Take Out Warren"

She's gaining steam, do you hear me?! GAINING STEAM. You know what needs to be done. I'm waiting ...

Talk soon, H

hillary clinton

From: hillztotheyeah@clinton.me

To: bill69@clinton.me

Subject: HACKED?!

I just got a very DISTURBING tip that some very UNTOWARD pics from our little weekend getaway to the Poconos might have been LEAKED to the press! (Yes, the ones in the champagne glass hot tub!!) I am NOT Jennifer Lawrence!! Fix this and FIX IT NOW!

xo, H

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hillary clinton barack obama

From: hillztotheyeah@clinton.me

To: keeponbarackin@mrpresident.com

Subject: Great seeing you!

Hey there! Hope you're having a great day! Just wanted to say it was so lovely to see you and Michelle over the weekend. Wonderful spending time in the WH. Can't wait to sleep in my own bed again!

xo, H

hillary clinton

From: hillztotheyeah@clinton.me

To: tailor@worldofpants.com

Subject: Alterations

Good afternoon, just checking on the status of my pantsuit alteration order. As a reminder, I was supposed to have my hems done by THIS MORNING. I would hate to have to take my business elsewhere (I hear Universe of Pants is very reasonable!).

Thank you, Hillary Clinton

vince vaughn

From: tech@clinton.me 

To: hillztotheyeah@clinton.me

Subject: Privacy settings

Dear Mrs. Clinton, We did as you asked and made sure that all of your email folders are absolutely impermeable to hackers. And no, I don't think anyone will find it "weird" that you used a personal account and not a government account while you were Secretary of State. All the pols do it.

Best, Tech Central

What would you expect to find in Hillary Clinton's email account?

Images via US Embassy/Flickr, US Embassy/Flickr, Marc Nozell/Flickr, Lucas Cobb/Flickr, Karen Murphy/Flickr, Foreign and Commonwealth Office/Flickr, iStock

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