Rielle Hunter Apologizes for John Edwards Affair With Plug for Her New Memoir

what really happened rielle hunterUgh. Remember Rielle Hunter, the woman John Edwards had an affair with back when he was trying to run for president? She wrote that tell-all, What Really Happened: John Edwards, Our Daughter, and Me? Oh God, I'm so sorry. You probably forgot all about her, and now I've ruined your day by bringing up that shameful shitastrophe. You know what? Forget it. I shouldn't have mentioned her at all. It's just that, well, she's written a revision of her book: In Hindsight, What Really Happened: The Revised Edition: John Edwards, Our Daughter, and Me. Yes, that's the real title, TWO colons and all.

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So let's do this. Let's hear why Rielle is bothering us with her tawdry tale yet again. In today's Huffington Post she apologizes: "I, Rielle Hunter, Apologize," a nice SEO- and Twitter-friendly headline if I ever saw one. It starts out promising. "I behaved badly. That may seem obvious to you but it's taken me a long time to admit that, even to myself." But we're barely a couple sentences in before she swings a left hook of self-pity. "For years I was so viciously attacked by the media and the world that I felt like a victim." Boo fucking hoo. I'm about to click away at this point, but then she follows this with, "I now realize that the attacks are actually beside the point. The point is: I behaved badly."

And there you go. Honestly, that's all we need from Rielle. The post goes on and on about how she hurt people more by writing the book, how it was her publisher's idea to go back and revise/annotate all her mistakes and regrets (because $$$???). And then she tells us her parents cheated on each other, so ... I mean, you don't have to read the rest of the apology.

And you don't have to read her second tell-all, either. What are we going to get out of it? Are we going to learn anything new or heal? It's one thing to publicly apologize, but I feel like the book is just another exercise in narcissism. Rielle needs us to reflect her penance back at her in order for her to believe it's real -- or something like that. Know what I mean? At the least, they could have come up with a better title for the book, like:

  • No Really, What Really, Really Happened, Really
  • In Hindsight, Did That Really Happen?
  • What Really Happened: Baby Needs New Shoes and So Do I
  • What Really Happened: The Shame Spiral: Now in 3-D
  • Are You There God, It's Me Rielle Hunter & Here's What Really Happened to Me

I'm joking. I think the worst part of the title is the passive construction -- pardon me while I put on my former English major hat now. "What Really Happened" -- why not "What We Really DID" -- ??? You know, if you're going to revise your book, why not use a title that reflects the responsibility you're taking in your own damn story?

Oh whatever, it's too late. Rielle Hunter has a new book. She wants you to read it. It's probs not worth your time.

Would you read Rielle Hunter's new book -- if you could skim through it for free at the doctor's office, I mean?

 

Image via Amazon

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