Man Reportedly Eats Own Finger While High on Drugs ... Kids, Don’t Do Drugs!

Sunday nights are fun nights, aren't they? Some of us settle in for a little 60 Minutes and a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Others, you know, strip naked, go on a rampage in the streets and try to drag drivers from their cars, eat a medical alert bracelet, defecate in a squad car, and then top it off with, well ... let's just say a little snack. And it's not the kind of snack generally sold in grocery stores, my peeps ... Parents, feel free to print out this story and show it to your children when they ask, "Mom, what's so bad about getting high on PCP?"

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It all started peacefully enough Sunday evening when 29-year-old New Jersey resident Jargget Washington may have decided to ingest a little PCP, otherwise known as "angel dust." I mean, I'm guessing. Given the rest of the evening. Plus, the cops think that's what he was on. So there's that. Plus, um, everything else. (Meet the old drug. Same as the new drug.)

So then my man Jargget allegedly stripped naked and began menacing drivers. Because people who menace drivers always have to do it naked. You ever notice that? He then tried to drag one driver out of his car, but the driver fought back and wouldn't let him. Which is understandable. Really, it's the only understandable thing you're going to read in this story.

When police arrived, they took Jargget to a medical center for an evaluation. You know, a "just how crazy is this dude" test. That's when Jargget had a little craving ... for his medical bracelet. So he ate it.

Police decided to bring him to jail. On the way there, he left a little gift in the back of the patrol car. It's called shit.

Once in the pokey, Jargett tried to break free of his handcuffs -- by gnawing on his wrists. Which didn't work. So he focused on something a little more manageable ... his finger.

Yes, according to police, Jagrett's Sunday fun day of public nakedness, driver menacing, medical bracelet eating, and cop car pooping ended with him eating his own finger. And, yep, apparently Jargett does swallow.

Does this beat your Sunday evening?

 

Image via New Jersey State Dept. of Corrections

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