Murdered College Student's Boyfriend Allegedly Says 'Love' Made Him Kill Her

Alexandra KogutAlexandra Kogut was only 18 when her young life was snuffed out. Her boyfriend and high school love, Clayton Whittemore, has allegedly confessed to the crime, claiming that an innocuous argument over "rudeness" led him to beat her so severely that he then killed her with a curling iron to end her suffering.

That story sounds like some twisted love to me, no? His lawyers are trying to get the confession thrown out, so we must tread lightly on whether or not he is guilty. But the fact is, if an innocuous argument can cause a man to "just snap," there must have been signs, right?

It's kind of a chilling thought. But it also could be true.


I have been married 10 years and there are still times when a fight over the dishes or some other seemingly small thing will become something so much greater.

Obviously, these things don't normally lead to murder, but it's true that some fights aren't about what they seem to be about. When couples are in love (or some co-dependent version of it), things can escalate quickly. There is a lot of emotion and fire in small things.

None of this is an excuse. Not even for one moment. If Whittemore is guilty of this crime, he deserves to pay for his crime as much as someone who planned and calculated a crime. Crimes of passion and crimes that require planning seem not all that different to me.

But as a person who is in the world and who has experience love in a few different forms, I do look back on my different experiences and wonder. One ex, in particular, was a little unhinged. I once threw an ash tray at his head in defense during a fight. That stopped him, but what if it hadn't? I know he "loved" me, but at what price?

Stories like these do make you look at the person sleeping next to you and wonder. Just what could they do in the name of "love"? My heart goes out to Kogut's family who probably never even suspected that someone who "loved" their daughter could be capable of hurting her.

Do you think that a small fight could escalate to murder?


Image via StephenCarlile/Flickr

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