Big Bird Fired?!! 8 New Careers He May Be Forced to Consider

bigbird9Don't Jump, Big Bird!If Mitt Romney really likes Big Bird, he should consider what kind of a future his feathered friend will have if Sesame Street does indeed get shut down. Think about it: Big Bird's had the same gig for over 30 years now -- he can't possibly have the skill set necessary to compete in today's fiercely competitive job market! Sure, he knows his ABC's, but that won't help him get hired -- not with potential job cuts looming in the education field, too.

But without gainful employment, Big Bird's gonna end up out on the street (not that street -- you know what I mean). Nobody wants that (not those of us who actually DO like Big Bird, anyway).

So, based on his qualifications, here are a few careers Big Bird might want to consider exploring ...

Image via Christopher Paulin/Flickr

  • Joust Coordinator at Renaissance Festival


    Image via Jake Keup/Flickr

    Big Bird would be great at a Ren Fest, cause he's so easy to spot in a crowd. And since he's all about playing fair and following rules, running the joust would come easy to him. (The only potential Ren Fest problem for BB? Those big turkey legs all over the place might upset him.)

  • Exotic Dancer


    Image via Peter/Flickr

    Oh Bird, I hate to think of you degrading yourself like this ... but strippers make great tips, so, you know, if things get really tight ...


  • Administrative Assistant


    Image via Cameron Nordholm/Flickr

    Plenty of opportunities for advancement! (If you can fit in the desk chair.)

  • Vampire Slayer


    Image via Selena N.B.H./Flickr

    When business gets good, expand to include zombies! Talk about a steady job.

  • Eiffel Tower Tour Guide


    Image via Tiffanie Terry/Flickr

    Can Big Bird speak French? I'm pretty sure he can say "1-2-3" in Japanese.

  • Fashion Designer


    Image via CGAPhoto/Flickr

    Can't you just see him as a guest judge on Project Runway? Make it work!

  • Shoe Model


    Image via Fashionby He/Flickr

    Hey, at least it puts birdseed on the table.

  • Fall Down Drunk


    Image via Marit & Toomas Hinnosaar/Flickr

    Obviously the last resort.

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