Romney Fumbles Tax Rate & Healthcare Questions & It's So Funny We Forgot to Laugh (VIDEO)

romney 60 minutesIf you managed to push back all the tulle and Louboutins from last night's Emmys coverage, you may have noticed that President Obama and candidate Mitt Romney were interviewed on CBS's 60 Minutes. Neither of them unveiled anything remotely shiny and new -- they're still the same candidates running on the same platforms we already know about.

But I can't help myself -- Romney still cracked me up with his bananas fairy tales about taxes and his enthusiastic endorsement of the ER. Knee-slappers! How can material this stale still be so hilarious every. Damn. Time?!? Let's revisit these two highlights.


So let's start with the taxes. As we know, Romney finally released his tax statements the other day and we got to find out he paid 14 percent in federal taxes on the nearly $20 million in capital gains he "earned." Scott Pelley asked him if he thought it was fair to us losers who make around $50,000 and pay a higher rate (closer to 30 percent, in case you haven't checked your statements lately).

Why of course he does! Because what else is he going to say? Romney gave some feeble excuse about capital gains being taxed lower because they're already taxed at the corporate level (whatever, who cares, nice try) and then gave us that stale trickle-down argument. He says under-taxing richies is the "right way to encourage economic growth -- to get people to invest, to start businesses, to put people to work."

LOLZ, Mittens! That's my favorite Republican joke! Because NO IT DOESN'T. As if just being alive and paying attention weren't enough to alert you to the fact that this is total bullshit, there's also this new, non-partisan study showing ZERO correlation between lower tax rates for the wealthy and economic growth. Let me translate: Lowering taxes for super-rich folks does not magically produce new jobs and such for us po' folk. Sorry, the numbers just aren't there.

Look, I'm a pragmatist. If I actually thought taxing the wealthy would spur economic growth, I would be the first to say, "Screw fair, let's cut all taxes for the wealthy!" But 'tis not the case.

That was fun! Now let's talk about the loony shit Romney said about Obamacare. This is Romney at his flippity-floppitiest. I give you two statements alike in indignity, in fair America where we lay our scene, a pair of star-crossed positions that take their life. First, last night on 60 Minutes:

Well, we do provide care for people who don't have insurance. If someone has a heart attack, they don't sit in their apartment and die. We pick them up in an ambulance, and take them to the hospital, and give them care. And different states have different ways of providing for that care.

And here's Romney on Morning Joe in 2010:

Look, it doesn't make a lot of sense for us to have millions and millions of people who have no health insurance and yet who can go to the emergency room and get entirely free care for which they have no responsibility, particularly if they are people who have sufficient means to pay their own way.

Okay, Romney flip-flopping isn't news. It's just so lame that he honestly can't come up with a better defense for his attacks on Obamacare other than to literally contradict himself. But hey, like Ann Romney says, THIS IS HARD! You can practically see the guy sweating through his bronzer.

Do you think Romney defended his positions well on 60 Minutes?


Image via CBS News

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