Husband Arrested for Using Tomato to Shut His Wife Up

green tomatoEver wonder the difference between everyday joes and the guys behind bars? It's pretty simple. We regular folks joke about how we'd like to do stupid things. The husband who takes a tomato and shoves it in his wife's mouth to shut her up? He's the kind of guy who ends up with a pair of metal bracelets.

That's what happened to Dennis Eskew. The Montana man is accused of grabbing a green tomato and forcing it into his wife's mouth during an argument, to the point where she gagged. Naturally cops asked him why the heck he'd do such a thing.


Eskew's alleged answer for the bizarre tomato gagging? "Mostly to shut her up."

Oh, come on dude, everyone says stuff like that, but you have to follow the rules. You don't actually do it!

The whole "I'll shut you up" threat goes right up there with "I'll stick my foot so far up your @ss" or the ever-popular "I'm gonna kill her." We're all guilty of saying something in this vein every once in awhile, either in frustration or as a joke. In the right context, it can be funny. When my husband is being particularly annoying, I know I've told him I'd do something almost as ridiculous as shoving a tomato in his mouth, and the two of us will bust out in a fit of communal laughter.

But that's the key, isn't it? That it's a threat I never intend to follow through with?

It's OK to think these things. We all get frustrated once in awhile. It's when you actually shove a tomato in your wife's mouth that all bets are off.

What kind of ridiculous threats have you made?


Image via Plutor/Flickr

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