Naked Bleeding Guy Gnaws on Woman's Head But It's Not Like He's a ZOMBIE or Anything

broken windowJust when you thought it was safe to ... exist. The zombie apocalypse is back, baby, and better than ever! Don't believe me? Simply ask Nancy Dean-Corino of Pennsylvania, who had the misfortune of being "gnawed" on the head by a naked, bleeding man (who was "screaming like an animal" all the while). Um, can anybody say ain't no party like a bath salts party cause a bath salts party don't stop? (Even when you get stun gunned, apparently?)

Okay, police don't actually know for sure yet if 20-year-old Richard Cimino Jr. was on bath salts or any other kind of drug when he went on his zombie rampage, but ... I mean, come on. Really? It's not like this guy merely went running down the street naked and bleeding with a hankering for somebody's head, either. He did some other whacked out stuff before that, too.

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The whole manic morning began at about 5 a.m. when Cimino drove his car off the road and behind a bunch of houses. That's where he stripped down to his skivvies ... the better to break into one of the houses, my dear. Except the people in that house flipped out, so he left and broke into a second house, taking off his underwear on the way like some crazed nudist Goldilocks. Alas, this house wasn't just right either, so he jumped out of a second-story window

That's when he got all bloody, on account of the "severe injuries to his arms and legs." But no big deal, because a little blood loss wasn't going to stop this guy from attacking one of two women who happened to be standing outside on the street. And by attacking, yes, I do mean "gnawing" at her head. (Duh, there's brains in there!)

Luckily the women escaped and were able to call the police, but the story doesn't end there. Cimino reportedly lunged at the troopers who arrived, forcing them to use a stun gun -- which, wouldn't you know it, didn't stop him. He even managed to punch an EMT who was trying to treat his window-jumping-inflicted injuries.

Anyway, eventually they got him to a hospital, and Cimino is now being charged with a two counts each of aggravated assault, simple assault, indecent exposure, and criminal mischief, plus three counts of burglary and one count each of criminal trespass and defiant trespassing.

And a bazillion counts of being a zombie.

Do you think this naked bloody head-gnawing guy was on drugs?


Image via lydia/Flickr

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