Foul-Mouthed Cockatoo That Cusses at Neighbors Is Ultimate Mocking Bird

cockatooThere comes a time in very few people's lives when they have to ask themselves the question -- will I or won't I sue a talking bird for cursing at me? -- and the answer, in this case, may surprise you. Kathleen Melker and Craig Fontaine of Rhode Island are pissed that Willy, their next-door neighbor's cockatoo, won't stop squawking profanities at them. Willy's owner happens to be Craig's ex-wife, which just makes this tangled weave of love bird's nest all that more interesting.


To be fair, Craig and Kathleen aren't suing Willy; they've filed a complaint with the courthouse citing Willy's 15-minute long rants as a violation against the city's animal-noise ordinance. But still, it's kind of funny.

Craig and Kathleen allege that Willy's owner and Craig's ex, Lynne Taylor, taught the bird to say nasty things to them, including calling Lynne a whore. Now, OK -- this isn't nice. I can see how a bird screeching at you that you're morally compromised is not a pleasant scene to come home to. But on the other hand, it's a bird.

I also understand that Willy is indirect harassment from Lynne, but goodness, you gotta feel worse for Lynne in this case, right? If she's so desperate and can't let go of whatever anger she's holding on to that she's taught her pet cockatoo to say mean things to her ex-husband and his new wife, then, man, that's one sad life, no?

Craig and Kathleen also say that Lynne's been throwing rocks over the fence and has threatened to drown their cat, but if you ask me, that sounds more like something Willy would be up to ... knowing that Willy.

Hard to say where I come down on this case, but I do know one thing for sure: Brian Fellows would most definitely side with Kathleen and Craig. Birds have tried to ruin his life. They've stolen his name and his credit, so if anyone understands the distress a cockatoo can cause, it's certainly this fictional SNL character with a fifth grade education.

What would you do if a neighbor's cockatoo was mouthing off?


Photo via cuatrok77/Flickr

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