Man's Defense for Groping Woman: 'Her Booty Looked So Good He Couldn't Resist' (VIDEO)

aaron morrisButts are a powerful thing. I mean, look at Kim Kardashian. Or J.Lo. Or Pippa Middleton. They've all made boatloads, or buttloads, of cash off of their derrieres. Booties have special powers sometimes. I'm serious! Sometimes, they emit invisible lasers that lure men into trance-like spells. And every once in a while, these spells are so powerful that they prompt a dude to reach out and grab them. At least, so says the alleged Walmart booty groper.

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Aaron Morris, 18, was arrested last week for allegedly grabbing a Walmart customer's buttocks outside a dressing room at a store in Florida. According to the police report, Morris "willfully and intentionally grabbed the vitim's right buttocks against her will." He allegedly fled the store after the incident and was picked up by cops at a nearby gas station. When he was brought in for questioning, he admitted to grabbing the woman's behind. And after he was read his rights, Morris explained that he groped the woman because, "Her booty looked so good, I just couldn't resist touching it." And there you have it. The power of magical booties.

Listen, I can appreciate a nice ass as much as the next person, but I also can resist touching one. I think maybe what Morris needs is to invest in a pair of those blurry glasses some "ultra-Orthodox" Jews are selling in Jerusalem. Have you heard about them? The glasses blur their owner's vision, so he (or she) can't be tempted by immodestly dressed women on the street.

Heck, if Walmart sold them, then maybe this alleged incident never would have happened!

What do you think of Morris' excuse?


Image via Broward County Sheriff's Office

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